


In The Open

by black_tea



Series: The Masks We Wear [11]
Category: Mindhunter (TV 2017)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Family, M/M, Pregnancy, Sexual Content, Work, alpha!Bill Tench, omega!Holden Ford
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:19:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29154177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_tea/pseuds/black_tea
Summary: Being a pregnant omega leaves Holden no where to hide in terms of his status, but there's nothing else to do but suck it up and get on with things. But it isn't just the FBI Holden has to face as the upcoming baby brings various issues into focus.
Relationships: Holden Ford/Bill Tench
Series: The Masks We Wear [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803040
Comments: 26
Kudos: 46





	1. Not So Secret Secret

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter ended up being a bit shorter than the upcoming ones, but I couldn't really combine it due to the chronology.

Holden closed his eyes and willed himself to ignore the movement of the vehicle. _Mind over matter. I will not throw up,_ he told himself. Not that he was likely to empty his stomach on his shoes. As unsettled as his insides might be, the discomfort never resulted in anything. Sometimes he wished he would vomit, he would probably feel better after.

“Are you OK?” Bill asked, glancing over at him. 

“Yeah. Fine,” came the short answer, as Holden continued his attempt to control his recalcitrant body.

“You aren't going to -” Bill sounded concerned.

“No. Please, I'm concentrating.”

His mate started to speak and then stopped, thinking the better of it. Holden took a deep breath in through his nose, and asked himself why he just had to end up a walking stereotype. He allowed himself a small sigh of relief when Bill parked the car, and he sat collecting himself for a moment.

“OK, disaster averted.” He climbed out then stopped, one hand braced on the roof of the car, wondering if he had spoken too soon and today would be the morning he finally threw up everywhere. _No, not today._ He straightened up and followed Bill into the building.

This was the third week of nausea related misery. He had been OK for the first six weeks or so, a little more fatigued than usual, but nothing obnoxious. Then the morning sickness had set in, only morning sickness was a misnomer. It was all day sickness. The doctor had assured him this stage would eventually pass, but it felt interminable. 

Once they were alone in the elevator, Bill reached out to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. Holden noted that he wasn't getting too close. “I'm not going to throw up on you, and this is partly your fault anyway.”

“How is this my fault?”

“You tried to get me to eat the banana this morning. The baby doesn't like bananas.”

Bill snorted. “It was a banana, not some kind of exotic-” 

“It doesn't matter. I am off bananas,” Holden insisted primly as they made their way to their work areas.

“You'd be sick anyway,” Bill pointed out, trying not to laugh at his mate.

“You're still not feeling well?” Gregg asked, catching the last part of the conversation while Bill tried somewhat successfully to keep a straight face.

“I'm fine,” Holden insisted. “There's just certain food I'm having issues with right now.”

“Uh-huh,” Gregg regarded him with a speculative expression. “My wife couldn't eat hamburgers. The smell of the meat cooking made her nauseous.”

“Huh?” Holden blinked at the sudden non sequitur.

“When my wife was pregnant. You're?” Gregg made a motion with his hand to finish the question, _'you're pregnant, aren't you?'_

Holden stared at his coworker, Bill's slap on the back before moving on towards his office pulling him out of his startlement. _What do I say, what do I say?_ “Uh, yes.” There wasn't anything else to say. He was going to have to come clean to Gregg eventually anyway. “I wasn't going to say anything yet, but yes.”

For his part, Gregg didn't seem the slightest bit surprised. “Did Wendy say something about it?” Holden asked.

“No, but you've been queasy for weeks, and you keep touching your stomach.”

“I have?” He jerked his hand away from his midsection, staring down at the offending appendage.

“Yes. And you've been with Bill for awhile, so...” he shrugged while Holden continued to stare at him. “You really thought I didn't know? Holden, it's not that big of a secret. I realized a long time ago your picking at each other was just flirting, you often drive to work together, you're periodically out of office at the same time.” He gave Holden a look that clearly said he knew what _that_ was about. “Which is why you're now suffering from morning sickness.”

Holden glanced back to where Bill was leaning against the door frame of his office, hiding a smile behind his hand. “He's got you, there. This is what happens when you work in a profiling department.”

“He's got _me?_ You're involved in this too.” Holden reminded him, unamused at being so easily caught out. He turned back towards Gregg who was looking a bit smug.

“If it matters, I wouldn't have said anything to anybody. That's what you were worried about, right?” Holden didn't reply, realizing for once how it would sound if he answered honestly. Gregg took his silence as an affirmative. “Look, the whole OPR thing, that was about work. This is your personal life – two different things. How far along?” Gregg neatly pivoted away from what could quickly become an awkward conversation.

“Ten weeks, and it's not morning sickness. It's all day. I've been told it stops after awhile. I'm still waiting.” The tension drained out of Holden. Gregg and Wendy both figuring out his big secret meant he didn't have to figure out how to tell them.

“It will get better. At least, it did for my wife.”

* * *

Bill glanced over at his son who was watching the world roll by outside the car window. They needed to talk to Brian about the baby, but if they told Brian, Brian would tell Nancy. Bill wasn't sure he wanted Nancy to hear about it from her son. Not that it should matter, but after their struggle with infertility, he felt like he owed Nancy to not have the news dumped on her. He knew his ex-wife well enough to recognize that Holden easily ending up pregnant was going to sting a little. Irrational maybe, but definitely understandable. He tried to keep a cordial relationship with his ex for Brian's sake, if nothing else. Besides, even if they experienced more than their share of troubles in their marriage, they had devoted years of their lives to each other, and he didn't want to fight with her. To her credit, Nancy attempted to behave herself as well. He knew it was difficult, that she hadn't fully forgiven him for Holden, and might never able to. But she understood the necessity of working with him for the sake of their son.

He pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex, a spruce kept up place. In someways not Nancy's first choice, but it saved her from trying to deal with maintenance and yard work on her own, and it was close to Brian's school. 

“Don't forget your backpack,” Bill reminded his son as he clambered out of the car.

“I've got it.” He held it up by one strap.

Bill briefly patted Brian affectionately on the shoulder as they made their way to the door. Nancy and Brian were on the ground floor where a fence created a little patio area outside the front door. Large flower pots framed the door and a small wrought iron table and chair sat on the patio. He knocked, still considering what to say to his ex-wife.

Brian rang the bell, and a few moments later Nancy peeked out the window before unlocking the door and letting them in. “I need to talk to your Mom for a few minutes,” he told Brian.

“OK,” he smiled, “I had fun this weekend.” He then scampered off, his footsteps muffled by the thick beige carpet as he ran across the living room and down the short hall to his bedroom. 

Nancy regarded him with a slight frown. “Is everything alright?”

“Everything's fine. It's just... I have something I need to talk to Brian about soon, and I don't want you to be blindsided by it. I'd rather you hear it from me than our son.”

Nancy's frown deepened. “What's going on?” Tension played at the edge of her voice.

“It's nothing bad,” Bill quickly reassured her. “Brian's going to be a big brother.”

She looked at him blankly for a moment while the words penetrated. It clearly wasn't what she was expecting. “Oh, Holden's? Was it planned?”

“Yes. It's really early, so we aren't telling people yet,” _though plenty seem to be figuring it out for themselves._ “But, I want to give Brian a chance to get used to the idea before it becomes...apparent.” Bill groped for the word, still carefully watching Nancy's expression. It was difficult to read, closed.

“That's probably the best idea,” she finally said. Her voice was calm, but her jaw was tense, her carefully neutral expression an obvious mask. “Thanks for letting me know – I appreciate it.”

Bill regretted having to cause her more pain, though he couldn't help that alphas were only reproductively compatible with omegas. “Is there anything you need or that I can do?”

She shook her head with a small smile. “No, Bill, thanks for dropping Brian off.”

Bill recognized a dismissal when he heard one and made his way back to the car feeling like an unpleasant obligation had been carried out.

Holden was finishing up the kitchen when Bill returned. “I let Nancy know what's going on – with the baby.”

Holden regarded him with a slight frown. “It's a bit early to tell people. Some very perceptive coworkers aside.”

“I know, but we need to talk to Brian, and I want to give him plenty of time to adjust to the idea before it becomes obvious.” He regarded his mate's still lean frame as he leaned back against the counter. 

“Before I'm fat,” Holden said, drying off the counter top. He gently prodded Bill in the side to move him out of the way.

“Not fat, just full of baby.”

Holden let out a short laugh. “Now you make me sound like a baby eating cannibal. I see your point about Brian.”

Bill returned to his original positions against the counter. “I didn't want Nance to hear it from her son. It probably stings a little.”

Holden nodded. “I can see that. What did she say?”

“Not much.” He motioned for Holden to move closer and tucked him in the crook of his arm, nuzzling against his hair. He smelled like shampoo mixed with his usual pheromone cocktail and maybe something else too. He inhaled deeply.

“Why are you sniffing my hair? Do I smell funny?”

“No, just, there's something different.” He turned to bury his face in Holden's neck. “Yeah, your scent changed.”

Holden relaxed in his arms, enjoying the intimacy of the contact. “I'm pretty sure that's normal. Pregnancy changes body chemistry.”

“It's nice, soothing.” Bill generally found Holden's scent calming as was typical of omegas, but this was even more so. 

Holden looped his arms loosely around Bill's neck and leaned against him. “This is nice, but let's not spend the evening standing in the kitchen. There's a perfectly good sofa in the living room.”

* * *

“Brian, we have something to talk to you about,” Bill began from his spot at the other end of the sofa. He regarded his son with some concern. He wasn't sure how Brian would take the news that he was soon to be a big brother, and Bill didn't want him to feel displaced from their family. Even though Brian had improved remarkably from his nonverbal days where he felt more like a small ghost inhabiting the house rather than a small boy, there was a sense of fragility. Brian had been catching up with his peers at school, starting to make real friends, the alarming regression left behind as he was better able to process what had happened to him. But, those issues weren't that far in the past, and childhood trauma could haunt the victim for a lifetime. Between Brian and Holden, Bill knew more about childhood trauma than he had ever wanted to.

Brian, perhaps picking up on Bill's concern, grew quiet and looked cautiously back and forth between him and Holden. Brian still had a tendency to retreat inward when faced with stressful situations.

“It's nothing bad,” Bill hurried to reassure him as he had Nancy two weeks before. “We just have some news. You're going to be a big brother.”

A look of surprise passed over Brian's face, and he turned his attention to Holden. “You're going to have a baby? You don't look pregnant.”

“It's only about the size of a lime right now. For some reason people like to compare unborn babies with food. I don't know if I'm giving birth to a human, or a fruit salad,” Holden explained. “A month ago it was the size of a bean.”

Brian visibly relaxed, curiosity overriding whatever worries he had. “I don't know any men who had babies. Is this why Mom is upset?”

“Your mother's upset?” Bill asked, not surprised.

Brian nodded. “She tries to hide it, but I can tell. I thought she was mad at you.”

_So that's what he was worried about. He's old enough to be picking up all kinds of crap up._ “We've been getting along fine,” Bill reassured him. “There's nothing to worry about.” 

“She must be sad, because she couldn't have a baby. That makes sense,” Brian said as if a mystery had been solved. 

“She might be,” Bill solemnly agreed. Either by disposition, or life experience, Brian was a sensitive kid. He might have been quiet, but he was well aware of what went on around him. Bill considered, not for the first time, that it was a sort of defense mechanism. Perhaps he was on the look out for potential danger. He wondered what Brian had been afraid of – a fight between him and Nancy that could further fracture their families? It saddened Bill that his son worried about those things.

“Do you have any questions?” Holden asked from where he sat on Brian's other side.

“Can you feel the baby inside?”

“Not yet. When it gets bigger, I'll be able to feel it moving around.”

Bill was glad to see Brian relaxed and curious rather than withdrawing. He supposed that Brian being a little older made the event seem less of an upheaval. Brian nodded, seemingly satisfied, and went back to the legos he had been building with. Holden flashed Bill a relieved smile. His mate had shared Bill's concerns, but for the moment they seemed to be unfounded.

“I would like to say, it's been an entire three days, and I haven't felt like throwing up once,” Holden announced.

“Hungry? Want a banana?” Bill teased, amused at the look of disgust on Holden's face.

“No, do not speak to me of that fruit.”

“What about banana bread?” 

“Or a banana split?” Brian chimed in.

“Ugh, no. No bananas in any form.”


	2. Strengths and Weaknesses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holden has to start telling people the big news, and due to current circumstances, he and Gregg both find themselves not playing to their strengths at work.

Holden shrugged into his dress shirt, a looser fit than what he was used to wearing. _The time for those are past._ He thought, briefly touching his belly that was no longer as flat as it used to be. Peanut was just starting to show. He was suddenly aware of his mate's eye's on him.

“Come here, Holden,” Bill said from where he sat on the edge of the bed. He held out his hands in a beckoning gesture.

Holden did as directed, stopping in front of the alpha. Bill pushed back his shirt and ran his hands over the omega's thickening middle. His hands felt nice, strong, and warm. “Bill, we need to finish getting ready,” he pointed out, putting a stop to the proceedings before they became too distracting.

“You know, there are people at work that are going to need to know about this,” Bill said. 

Holden finished buttoning his shirt. “I do know. Peanut's getting bigger.”

“Peanut?”

“Yes. I'm not referring to him or her as it, and saying him or her all the time is too much.” He deftly situated his tie, ignoring the fact that Bill was trying not to laugh. “I have no idea what I'm going to say. I mean, Wendy and Gregg took it well, but Gunn? How is he going to react?”

“I honestly have no idea, but he's going to figure it out eventually.” Bill rose and slid his hand gently across Holden's throat to keep him still. Holden felt his mate's lips press just under his jaw. “I can tell by your scent, but Gunn doesn't spend as much time around you.” Bill dropped his hand and gave his ass a pat. 

Holden felt his pulse speed up. He had run through what he was going to say to people, but quickly decided not to think about it until he had to. Peanut wasn't going to hamper the work he was doing for some time yet, and Gunn had made it clear that it would take time to work out the mess with omegas in the field. But 99% of the men he worked with couldn't get pregnant, and those few that could were low level office staff. Carrying a growing Peanut around inside his belly marked himself out when he had spent his entire career with the FBI downplaying his status. Even as he had become comfortable and accepting of himself as an omega outside of work, he would never go so far beyond the confines of the basement office.

“Stop fretting,” Bill told him on the drive to work. “It's normal for omegas to get pregnant. It's one of the few defining features everyone gets.”

“Yes, but you don't see any working for the Bureau,” Holden pointed out. Bill merely reached over and gave his knee a squeeze. “What happens if someone asks me about my mate?”

“Most people are going to assume you have one anyway. You're in your thirties. I doubt they'd bring it up. Personally, I'd be surprised if Gunn hasn't figured it out by now.”

“This doesn't worry you?” Holden couldn't help but be somewhat disbelieving. 

“Not as much as it did, and there isn't anything I can do about it anyway. There's very few people this will affect or who would care enough to ask about the details. Most people are too tied up with their own shit to give much thought to anything else.” 

Despite Bill's logical assurances, Holden continued to worry. Bill leaned over as the elevator opened. “Calm down.”

Holden huffed to himself thinking it was very easy for Bill to be calm when wasn't the one carting Peanut around. Not that he disliked the presence of his child growing inside him. Quite the opposite, but he felt as though the two worlds he functioned in were about to collide in a potentially terrifying way. He stowed his things at is desk and went through his usual morning routine minus the coffee.

* * *

“What can I do for you?” Gunn asked as Holden slid into the seat across from his desk. The pleasant scent of omega hit him immediately, and it was clear that he was nervous. He was also not engaging in any beta behaviors, which was unusual. Gunn had made it clear in the past that when it was a meeting involving just the two of them, Holden could relax. But even so, he usually required prompting.

“I need to talk to you about something.”

Gunn tried to decipher more from his scent. His ability to pick up scent was quite acute. He smelled...different, but he had noticed that some weeks before. He could pick up a little bit of Bill, which wasn't at all surprising, and of course, nerves. “Of course. I know the situation isn't ideal right now. I appreciate your patience.”

Holden nodded in acknowledgment. “This is something more personal. I – I'm going to have a baby.” He finally managed to force out, his face flushing.

“Oh.” That was somehow not what Gunn had been expecting, though he supposed he shouldn't have been surprised. “A congratulations is in order.” He wasn't quite sure what to think about the news. Bill knocking up the best tool Gunn had in his toolbox complicated things, though in many ways the timing made sense.

“Thank you.” The anxiety in his scent began to drop back a notch.

Gunn favored him with a smile. He couldn't blame the man for wanting a family with his mate. _If only things were more clear cut where omegas are concerned._ “The policies for omegas regarding leave will be the same as those for women. Human Resources will be able to give you all the details. We'll need to find someone to take over while you're out. It might be a good opportunity to try bringing on an intern. Nothing you're doing now should be too strenuous?”

“Oh no, it should be fine,” Holden quickly reassured him. “That's why this seemed like a good time, since my job duties have been restricted.”

“I appreciate you giving me ample notice. That will make things easier.”

“Well, eventually it's going to become obvious,” Holden pointed out, sounding more like his normal self. 

Gunn smiled at that. There was hardly anything more adorable than a pregnant omega, but he still had trouble picturing Holden in that state. “Is there anything else?”

“No, that's it. I just wanted to let you know what was going on.” Holden got to his feet, but before he opened the door, Gunn threw out one last remark.

“Please give Bill my congratulations as well.”

“I will thank -” He stopped mid sentence, suddenly realizing just what Gunn had said.

He attempted too look serious, but was pleased with the shocked expression on the omega's face. _You can't blame me for getting you back, now can you?_ “Holden, I figured it out a long time ago. I can smell him on you most of the time. I doubt it's a very well kept secret at this point. Though I would advise not broadcasting it too loudly.”

“Yes, of course,” and with that he was gone.

* * *

The meeting was petering out, having moved from actual business to bullshitting. Bill leaned back in his chair listening to Gregg poke at Holden over his lack of sports knowledge. Holden was willing to watch baseball, but drew the line at football which he couldn't follow and had no interest in.

“I just don't see the point,” Holden said. “A player gets the ball, every one runs and jumps on him, and then they just keep doing the same thing again and again for several hours.”

The door suddenly opened and Gunn stood in the doorway. Bill immediately straightened up as did the other three, trying to look as if the meeting hadn't gone completely off topic. He looked at them with a genial expression that could have meant anything.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to let you know that I've been able to secure an interview with James Corner for a week from tomorrow. I've heard he's difficult to talk to, but I'm sure you're up for the challenge.” His gaze came to rest on Bill, since Holden wasn't permitted to set foot in prisons.

“Certainly, I'm sure we'll be able to work out a strategy,” Bill replied. _We're going to have to, since we don't have Holden._

Gunn favored him with a smile. “Good. Oh, I hear there's a congratulations in order. A new baby is an exciting time.”

Bill stared at him in surprise before his mouth finally kicked in. “Thank you, sir. It is.”

“I've already mentioned it to Holden, but we'll need to bring on an intern to help with the workload.” He turned to Holden who was blushing and looking like he'd rather be somewhere else. “Holden, since you're duties have changed somewhat, I thought it would be a good opportunity to use your expertise to teach a class on profiling.”

“I'd be happy to,” Holden replied. Bill was certain that 'happy' was not the adjective that best described Holden's feelings.

“Excellent. I knew you'd be willing. Well, that will be all.” He nodded to them and exited.

Holden, Bill, Wendy and Gregg sat in shocked silence, all staring at Holden. “I didn't say anything about Bill,” he insisted. “Apparently I smell like you.” Holden directed the last part to his mate.

“He's probably known for awhile now,” Bill sighed. _Smug bastard just wanted to see me squirm a little._ “I guess that's one less thing to worry about.”

The look on Holden's face, however, clearly said 'worried.'

* * *

Holden stood in the conference room in front of the board that had been set up showcasing the highlights of Corner's life of crime. He had been convicted of five murders over the course of two years. “He's meticulous. The amount of information he collected on each victim is staggering. He stalked each one for months, but none of his victims reported being stalked. It was completely without their knowledge.”

Holden wouldn't have the chance to speak to Corner, this was the closest he was going to get. The thought rankled. Bill would be the first to admit that Holden had his own style of conducting interviews that sometimes got him into trouble. However, they also got results. Bill was good, but he didn't have the ability to relate to their subjects the way Holden could. He had too much difficulty setting aside the horrible things they had done. Wendy had promise, but Gunn preferred her in a support position. That left Gregg. Gregg had certainly improved. He no longer froze up, and he had the ability to make astute observations. However, he had difficulty diverging from the questionnaire, and they had all decided a long time ago that rote questions didn't work. _He just needs to loosen up and get out of his own way,_ Bill diagnosed. _He's about to get a lot more experience._

“He may have other obsessive tendencies,” Holden went on.

“Like folding his socks?” Bill couldn't resist poking his mate a little. 

“No. That's not being obsessive, that's being neat,” Holden replied, half turning towards Bill. “Even the way the victims were murdered was careful, neat, precise. He replicated each killing nearly perfectly. He arranged the bodies the exact same way when they were dumped. The amount of care he took in the process of each killing is astounding.”

“He could have a strong need to control his environment,” Bill added. “Which might be the difficulty other people have faced trying to interview this guy.”

“He's not going to tolerate a power struggle during the interview,” Holden agreed.

“So during the interview, we have to give him the illusion that he is in control of the process,” Gregg said. “Make sure he's comfortable.”

“That sounds about right.” 

“It would be interesting to know if he grew up in a chaotic environment.” Holden had turned back to the board and was standing hands on hips. Bill couldn't help but admire his body with little Peanut just starting to show the world his or her existence. _That poor child is going to go through it's life as 'Peanut.'_

* * *

Bill found traveling with Gregg easy in many ways. He was quiet, serious and inoffensive. He was unlikely to become distracted, go off on a wild hair, or accidentally piss off the people around him. But Bill missed Holden's curiosity and enthusiasm. Gregg's interview skills had improved, true, but this was not playing to Gregg's strengths, and that was Gregg's main problem. He was fine, competent in many respects, but he was better at analyzing information than obtaining it from a subject. Bill didn't mind Gregg despite the inanity of the OPR investigation, but he had never been his choice for the job. Bill regretted not hiring Jim, but to be fair Gregg had turned out better than Bill expected in the beginning.

Gregg carried himself well that day, seemed confident, but making shit up wasn't his strong point, and they had all found out a long time ago, Holden before anybody else, that in order to get results, sometimes you had to go off the script. Make shit up. The saving grace had come in the form of Gregg's inoffensiveness. Corner hadn't viewed him as a threat, and Gregg didn't give off a sense of superiority. That would have sunk the interview.

Bill considered that Gregg would also likely do well as a liaison with police. Bill did trust Gregg one hundred percent not to stick his foot in his mouth. _We all have strengths and weaknesses. It's a matter of getting the right people working on the right tasks._

That night he phoned Holden, just wanting to hear his mate's voice. “Hey, baby.” 

“Hi Bill, how did the interview go?”

“It went OK. We have some useful information, I think.” _This has to be driving him crazy._

“Uh huh.” Something in Holden's voice told Bill that his mate didn't entirely believe him. “How did Gregg do? He hasn't been on one of these for awhile.”

Bill thought for a moment, attempting to be diplomatic. “He's more confident than he used to be.”

“But. I hear a but.”

“No, he's fine. He just depends on the script a little too much. What about your class. Wasn't today the first one?”

“I have a few who seem genuinely interested. I don't know about the rest.” His tone suggested that he did know. He made a frustrated sound. “It's a lot like the last time I taught. I don't impress people with my level of authority.”

Bill winced on Holden's behalf. This was something his mate struggled with since Bill had met him three years ago. His youthful appearance didn't help, but his status was the main issue. Between his communication issues with groups and the fact that omegas weren't considered authority figures, he had an uphill battle getting his classes of young betas and alphas to listen to him. It wasn't likely to get any easier as he became noticeably pregnant. “Hang in there. I should be back tomorrow afternoon.”

“Glad you called.”

“I wanted to hear your voice. Get some sleep.” Bill hung up the phone. The room felt weird and lonely. A little too quiet, considering he was used to Holden rattling on about whatever they were working on at the time. He switched off the light, lay down, and tried to get comfortable.

Back in Fredricksburg, Holden hung up the phone feeling frustrated. Teaching had taken him back to the time before the BSU. Not that he hadn't taught Road School with Bill, but that had been different. Bill had been there to step in when Holden was losing his audience or had missed some cue he was supposed to have picked up. On his own, teaching played to all of his weaknesses and none of his strengths. He had difficulty connecting with his audience, and they had difficulty taking him seriously. 

“Peanut, this is ridiculous,” He said, resting his hand on his belly. “I still have no authority. I can talk to convicted murderers just fine, but apparently I can't talk to a group of normal betas. Mostly betas – there's at least one alpha in there.” Peanut had no wisdom to offer.

Bill beat Holden to the house the next day, bringing with him a returned sense of normalcy. Holden kissed him soundly and buried his face in Bill's neck to better inhale his alpha scent. He let him go reluctantly. “This felt weirder than when you were gone for the case in Detroit.”

“Yeah, well, interviews were always your thing.” Bill gave his shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “You'll get to hear it all tomorrow – it went pretty well. Wendy should be happy with it. How are you feeling?”

“Fine. A lot better than the first trimester.” His face grew serious. “Now that we're telling people, I'm going to have to tell my parents what's going on. I can't not tell my mother she's going to have a grandchild.”

“No, you probably can't. It's better to get it over with, so you aren't stuck worrying about it,” Bill advised. “That can't be good for your stress level.”

Holden barked out a humorless laugh. “Nothing about my mother is good for my stress level, but you're probably right. I can't put it off forever.”

* * *

Having to inform Ted Gunn was bad enough. Holden had always carried the fear with him that if he called too much attention to his status, it would hurt his career opportunities. He decided, however, that having to tell his parents was worse. He wanted to believe that getting a grandchild would cancel out the fact that her son was pregnant. Expectations that his mother would somehow overcome her insecurities and prejudices were typically met with disappointment. It became apparent since the first trip down with Bill that she loved an idea of Holden that didn't exist. Since then, she expressed no desire to get to know her son as he actually was. If anything, the relationship with his father had improved. Although he didn't really understand omegas, he at least accepted Holden as an adult capable of making his own decisions regarding how he wanted to live.

He dialed the number, rehearsing what he was going to say. “Hello?” A female voice answered, and Holden's stomach tightened.

“Hi Mom.”

“Oh, Holden. How are you?” There was a distance to her voice that didn't used to be there. It had crept in when he dug his heels in and refused to change for her, and it had been there ever since. A punishment for daring to assert himself.

“I'm good, things are fine here. I was just calling to tell you some news...” He placed a hand protectively over his belly. “You and Dad are going to be grandparents.” _Normal parents would be happy._ He thought dismally to himself as the silence began to stretch.

“Oh, _Holden._ ” His mother's voice dripped disappointment. “How could you let that happen?”

“I didn't _let_ it happen. I chose for it to happen. I'm thirty-two. If I wait much longer, I'll be in the high risk category,” he explained calmly, fighting down his anger. 

More silence. “I don't think you thought this through enough.”

“I want a family with my mate. Most people want to start families with their partner. I'm sorry you can't be happy about a grandchild. Please tell Dad the news.” He hung up the phone. 

“I am not having that conversation with her, Peanut,” he said. “Your grandmother isn't always a nice woman. I'm sorry about that. You deserve better.” He sat for awhile stewing until he heard the key turn in the lock followed by the sound of Bill's footsteps and Brian's voice. Holden hauled himself off the sofa.

“Hi Holden,” Brian greeted him cheerfully. He stopped and looked at him curiously. “I can see the baby now.”

“Oh, yeah.” Holden smiled. His t-shirt wasn't as loose fitting, leaving his round tummy more obvious. “Peanut's growing. How are you doing?”

“Good, Dad said Tony could come over tomorrow.”

“That sounds fun.” Holden was pleased to see him make friends. Brian would probably never be someone who made friends easily, but he had found a few individuals he clicked with. Holden could relate. He had always been the odd one out growing up, the one who never fit in. Brian ran off to dump his overnight bag in his room.

Bill slid his arm around Holden and scented his neck. “What's got you upset?” He asked, voice pitched low so Brian couldn't hear.

“I told my mother she was going to be a grandmother. I ended up hanging up on her.” He tried to sound like he was unbothered by the earlier exchange. 

Bill gave him a squeeze. “That bad, huh?”

“I don't have the patience or energy today. I should know better by now, anyway.” He turned his head and gave Bill a quick kiss on the lips. “So Brian has a little friend?”

“Yeah, his mother has errands to run tomorrow, so she's going to drop him off.” He released Holden. “Sure you're OK?”

“Yeah, I'll be fine.”

* * *

“I thought maybe she'd accept this, since it's the only way she's getting a grandkid. When I told her I might as well have been a teenager who ended up pregnant after sneaking out to meet a boyfriend. I'm thirty-two with a mate. How can she be that disappointed that I'm pregnant?” He complained.

Bill agreed. He couldn't understand it either, or at least he couldn't understand it on an emotional level. Stepping back and recognizing that his mother was seriously fucked up allowed him to be unsurprised by her reaction. _Fucked up as in selfish, narcissistic, prejudiced, and he's spent his entire life trying to win her approval._

“I know I should just accept this is the way she is – that way I won't be disappointed.” Holden sat down heavily on the edge of the bed.

“Maybe, but she's your mother. It makes it harder.” He sat down next to his mate and rubbed his hand up and down his back. 

“Honestly, I don't want her alone with Peanut anyway,” he grumbled.

“I'm not going to argue with that,” Bill agreed. He didn't trust Linda alone with Holden who was a grown man. 

Holden scooted back on the bed so he could crawl under the covers, and Bill joined him. He spooned in behind him, so he could hold both Holden and his unborn child. Bill let his fingers slide under his t-shirt and just under the waist band of the blue pajama pants to stroke Holden's bare hip. He let them trail across his mate's growing belly and up along his ribs. It wasn't foreplay, just interest in Holden's changing body and a desire to provide comfort to his mate when he had no words of wisdom to offer. He could say that Linda was only hurting herself by putting up a wall between her and her son and soon to be grandchild. He could point out that Holden had fulfilled his obligation, and the ball was in her court. Let her do what she was going to do and not worry. But while these things were true, they didn't encompass the loss of a relationship Holden had valued. That his mother had treated him terribly as a child didn't change the fact that she was his mother, and they had over three decades of history between them.

Holden placed his hand over Bill's, caressing the back with his thumb. Bill's hand came to rest over their child, and he felt absurdly pleased with himself for putting it there. He reflected that he wasn't entirely above all dumb alpha tendencies. Holden shifted, comfortably pressing into Bill. His scent had calmed now that he felt safe and protected with his mate.

* * *

Holden felt far more confident when Will picked up the phone than he had when it was his mother on the other end of the line. His uncles' guaranteed support was the reason he had decided to call them after his own parents. He suspected, rightly, that he could use the boost.

They chatted for a few minutes, and Stevie picked up the other phone. “Bill and I have some news,” Holden began, feeling an odd flutter of excitement, “I'm pregnant.”

“That's wonderful! Congratulations!” Stevie erupted on the other end. 

“We had wondered if you would decide to go that direction,” Will said. “How far along are you now?”

“Four months. Past the constant nausea.”

“Ah, that's rough. I had a little trouble with Julie for the first few months, but luckily escaped the morning sickness with the other two.” Holden was suddenly very glad for Stevie. Here was someone who understood what pregnancy was like for an omega.

“Have you told your parents yet?” Will asked, voice genial.

Holden hesitated for just a tick. “No, not yet.” He hadn't intended to lie, but he found himself unwilling to tell Will and Stevie the unfortunate details of the last conversation with his mother. He didn't want them drawn into unnecessary drama, nor did he want them to worry about or feel sorry for him.

“Then we should feel honored,” Stevie laughed, not noticing anything off about Holden's reply. “Look if you have any questions or concerns, feel free to call. I've survived three kids.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” Holden's reply was honest this time. 

“You have a doctor with omega experience?” he asked.

“Yes, my regular doctor was able to refer me to an OB who sees a lot of omega patients.”

“Good,” Will said firmly, sounding relieved. “Those aren't always as easy to find as you might think. Being taught about omegas in med school isn't enough.”

They spoke for a little while longer, and Holden was uncomfortably struck by how different the experience was from the conversation with his mother. He had expected it, of course, but it didn't make the reality any easier.


	3. Past and Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Holden's maternity leave looming, the team begins looking for an intern. Holden runs into someone unexpected.

Holden climbed out of the car and straightened his dark blue sweater. At sixth months pregnant suits were out. Some types of clothing just didn't exist for male omegas or were ridiculously expensive. Suits were one of those items, so he had taken to wearing slacks and a sweater over a collared shirt. So far no one had commented, but for a beta to comment, they would have to call attention to the fact he was pregnant, something they seemed loath to do. They didn't know how to respond to him, so they pretended there was nothing out of the ordinary.

“Oh, let me get that for you,” an alpha offered, quickly darting ahead so he could get the door.

“Thank you.” Holden sighed inwardly. The alphas were completely opposite of their beta coworkers. They were solicitous to the point that Holden felt awkward. He instantly relaxed when the elevator opened on the BSU's domain leaving him free of uncomfortable betas and overprotective alphas.

The only alpha Holden felt like dealing with at the moment was his mate who had beaten him to work. He ambled over to Holden's desk brandishing a handful of papers. “Resumes are starting to come in for the intern position,” he commented.

“Oh, OK. That's good.” Hiring had never held much interest for Holden. The entire process was just as uncomfortable from the end of the hirer as it was the hiree. How did you adequately judge someone off of a sheet of paper? And then if they made it to the interview stage, a decision had to be made after a brief conversation. He knew that their department needed someone, possibly more than one someone, but Holden was hoping to keep his involvement to a minimum.

Bill studied him for a moment. “Hmmm.”

“Hmm what?”

“Just a heads up – you're going to be involved in this too.”

“OK,” Holden said again as Bill gave him one last look before patting him on the shoulder and making his way towards Wendy's office.

He watched Bill's retreating form and sighed again. Bill, as usual, had demonstrated his power to see right through him. They met later that morning as a team to run through several requests for assistance, something they had been seeing more of over the past year.

“We're going to have to be realistic about the workload we can take on,” Wendy said. “Especially with Holden sidelined.

“Agreed.” Bill looked over the more promising of the three case files. “I'd say this one out in Nevada. If these crimes are connected the way the police think they might be, then this guy is escalating.”

“That's true,” Holden agreed. “Though, you have to admit, the one in Indiana is intriguing. Not so sure about Florida, though.”

“If we have to put one on the back burner, then I'm with Holden on the Florida case,” Wendy agreed. “What do you think, Gregg?”

Gregg though for a moment. “I agree about Florida, but between the other two... we might want to take into account that the police in Indiana sound less equipped. They might be in need of more assistance.”

“OK, so Florida is last in line and we bump Indiana to the front.” Bill let the thick folder drop onto the table with a thump. He opened an accordion file and removed a large stack of papers that Holden eyed dubiously, remembering that morning's conversation.

“Next order of business...we have resumes. There seems to be a lot of interest in an internship. We'll split these up between us and meet later this week to discuss them as a team.” Bill began separating the stack into four roughly equal piles. He shoved one over to Gregg, handed one to Wendy, and the other to Holden who stared at his as if it was some type of suspicious and foreign creature. He found himself much preferring to work on the Indiana man who was leaving dismembered deer parts on people's front steps to making decisions regarding people's careers. 

Bill picked up Holden's resumes. “You are not getting out of it this time,” he warned. “This intern is here to replace you while you're out.” He shoved the stack of resumes into Holden's hands. His mate made a face, but didn't object further before waddling back to his desk.

* * *

Bill took his stack and retreated to his office. He started by disqualifying the resumes that were too poorly written to make a decent impression. He then began combing though them a second time looking for the candidates with backgrounds that wouldn't make sense for their department. There were fewer of those. He eyed the remaining resumes. There were still quite a few. He supposed it was a good sign to have so many that couldn't be automatically disqualified.

He began the process of a more careful examination. It was odd to think of Holden not being present, even if his absence was only temporary. He plucked out a resume that looked particularly well suited and started a pile for the most likely candidates.

Bill reflected that it was time to consider enlarging their department anyway. They had been receiving more requests from police departments looking for help. Atlanta had put their little department on the map, and they weren't going to be able to keep up if they didn't get a few more warm bodies in the BSU. Bringing on interns was a good way to test out candidates, though they should also bring on another experienced agent. He made a note to discuss the issue with Gunn who would likely agree. Their need for agents at least guaranteed Holden would continue to have a place in the department whether or not he was an omega or needed maternity leave. They _needed_ him, and Gunn knew it.

Later that afternoon he knocked on Wendy's door. “Have you had the chance to look over any of the resumes yet?”

“There's some good candidates and some that are...probably not well suited,” she replied, looking up from the document she was reading.

Bill sank down into the chair across from her desk. “I think we need to talk to Gunn about hiring more than just an intern. Things have been tight around here in terms of manpower before HR decided to be stupid about omegas and Holden got pregnant. Holden needing leave just underlines a problem that already existed.”

“I agree. We're getting more requests from police departments, and it's becoming impossible to balance that and the initial research.”

“I can't imagine Gunn being against it when our department is in demand.” He thought for a moment before voicing the idea that had been bouncing around in the back of his head. “I was thinking about contacting Jim Barney – seeing if he'd want to apply again. Honestly, if he did, he'd be the one I'd pick.” Wendy seemed to hesitate, so Bill went on. “Both Holden and I have worked with him, and he was the best candidate back when we interviewed for Gregg's position.”

“We had a reason not to go with Jim at the time,” Wendy reminded him.

“At the time. Things have changed. We aren't just going into prisons and conducting interviews any more. The BSU has expanded, and Jim is good. Plus he'd fit in well here.”

“True. If Gunn gives us the go ahead, then he should apply, if he's still interested,” Wendy relented. “He'd be at the top of my list too.”

Bill sat back in the chair, pleased that Wendy agreed with his assessment of the situation. Now all they had to do was get Gunn on board. Wendy studied him for a moment.

“How are you and Holden doing? With the baby?”

A smile tugged at Bill's mouth. “Good. He's been feeling good. I think he enjoys it, now that he isn't feeling sick all the time.” The smile slid from his face to be replaced by a more brooding expression. “His father's coming for a visit soon while his wife's visiting one of her sisters.”

“Is this a bad thing?” Wendy asked, catching the shift in mood.

“No,” he said slowly. “I don't think so. Holden isn't on speaking terms with his mother, and I think John is trying to pick up the slack there. I don't know what to expect.” Wendy was the one person besides Holden Bill felt he could tell anything to, and he valued her nonjudgmental opinions.

“I want to see his family support him, but I also don't want him end up in the middle of an issue with his parents, since they seem to be of two different minds...and I don't know how capable John is of breaking with what his wife wants.”

“What about Holden's other family?”

“His uncles are great, but they don't know how bad things have gotten between Holden and his mother. Stevie would be up here in a minute to help out, if he knew what was going on. I think Holden is afraid of troubling them,” Bill admitted. He had been tempted on more than one occasion to call up Will and Stevie to vent about Linda, but wasn't sure Holden would be comfortable with him doing that.

“And you don't want to go behind Holden's back and tell them what's going on,” Wendy filled in, echoing his very thoughts.

“I'm playing it by ear. I'll see what news John brings. Maybe there's been a thaw in Linda's attitude, but I doubt it. I think it might really be over this time. Holden has put up with a lot, but he's not going to tolerate her piss poor attitude towards his child, our child.” He pushed the chair back and stood up. “That's enough of my complaining. I'll set up a time to discuss staffing with Gunn.”

* * *

“Who are our best contenders?” Bill asked the group a few days later. “I have three that I'm fairly impressed with.”

“I have two.” Holden slid everyone copies of the two resumes. “At first I felt guilty turning people down based on a piece of paper. Then I saw some of them, and my sympathy dried up.”

“I have two as well,” Gregg said glancing over the resumes Holden handed him.

“Three,” Wendy chimed in. There was momentary silence save for the rustling of paper as they handed out copies of their most likely candidates for intern.

“That leaves us ten. I'd like to whittle it down a little more. How many do we want to bring in? Five, maybe?” Bill asked.

“Who's going to be conducting the interviews?” Holden asked, attempting to sound nonchalant.

“Why all of us,” Bill answered sweetly. “I did warn you.”

Holden eyed him dubiously. “I don't know how much help I'll be.” This wasn't entirely an excuse. Holden really doubted his ability to accurately assess a candidate based on a short meeting. He couldn't treat them like he did the suspects and murderers he interviewed as part of his job, and he had a difficult time gauging betas he didn't know well.

“I think it will be instructive, oh round one. I'd like to see how they react to you.”

“Really, Bill? You aren't being serious, are you?”

“You are part of the team, and they'll need to be able to work with everybody here,” Gregg pointed out. “Some people might not be comfortable working with an omega, and if you're helping train them before you leave...”

“That's actually a fair point,” Wendy agreed, dashing all of Holden's hopes.

Bill turned towards him with a grin. “See, I told you you weren't getting out of this.”

* * *

“Nice to meet you,” the candidate, one Matthew Benton, said after a moment's surprise and hesitation. They shook hands, Matthew turning his attention back to Bill and Wendy, and Holden feeling the beginnings of annoyance.

Benton was surprised to see a pregant omega, because he probably hadn't seen many pregnant omegas. It was also clear that he pegged Holden as less important than his colleagues whom he was obviously seeking to impress. Holden took a seat next to Wendy and cattycorner to Benton. _He's confident._ Holden noted as he listened to Benton outline his background in criminal justice. He was speaking solely to Bill and Wendy. _I wonder if he even realizes I'm a Special Agent? He probably thinks I'm a secretary here to take notes._

“What made you interested in our department specifically?” Holden asked.

“Hm? Excuse me?” His attention swiveled to Holden, caught off guard.

“I asked what made you specifically interested in the BSU,” he repeated. “Our department is specialized in what we do.”

Benton recovered himself quickly. “It seems like a good opportunity to see a different side of law enforcement, to learn new skills.”

Holden sighed inwardly as he mostly directed his answer to Bill and Wendy again. _Am I actually invisible? How can a six months pregnant omega be invisible._ He made some notes on the tablet he brought with him, mostly to give himself something to focus on. 

“The internship will last a year,” Wendy began in her steady no nonsense voice. “You'd be helping out while Special Agent Ford,” she nodded to Holden, “is out on maternity leave.”

Holden suspected Wendy had thrown out his title and reason for his leave on purpose, and Benton was obviously thrown by it. “Oh of course,” he said, seeming to notice Holden for the first time.

“We have to start training while Ford is still with us, then you'd be covering the period of his leave and his transition back to a full time schedule,” Wendy continued as if nothing had happened. They talked for awhile longer, Holden feeling disconnected from the proceedings. He didn't like Benton and didn't want to be there, though he tried to appear attentive. 

After what seemed like an eternity, they were shaking hands again. Bill saw Benton out while he and Wendy waited for his return. Holden slouched back in his chair, one hand resting on Peanut's growing bulk. 

“Well?” Bill asked when he sank down on to the chair Benton had vacated.

“Don't like him,” Holden said firmly. “I think we can do better.”

Bill had the nerve to look amused. “I told you it would be useful to have you in here.”

Holden rolled his eyes in disgust. “I'm pretty sure he thought I was a secretary until Wendy said something.”

“That's why I said it. I agree. We can do better. His background isn't going to be that different from anyone else, and I'm concerned about his attitude.”

“A little over confident?” Bill asked. “He was laying it on pretty thick.”

“Yes, and with you and Gregg consulting, Holden's going to have to help train him. I'm worried he might have trouble taking direction from an omega.” 

The next candidate managed not to try Holden's patience. The young woman actually seemed relieved to see him and loosened up almost immediately. The interview lasted longer as it quickly became clear that Mary Angelli had placed herself in the running for the position. Unlike Benton, she signaled that she knew Holden was part of the team. _I suppose it must be a relief to walk into an interview and see a woman and an omega. Women don't have it easy either._ Holden could see himself being able to work with her.

The next two interviews didn't descend to Benton's level of awful, but they weren't impressive enough to lift them over Ms. Angelli. The last candidate showed up on Friday morning. His scent hit Holden as soon as he walked into the conference room. _Alpha._ Holden stood and reached over to shake Russell Greene's hand. “Special Agent Ford,” he said.

“Oh wow, nice to meet you. Russell Greene.” His handshake was firm, and he didn't give the impression that there was anything negative in his moment of surprise. He smelled nervous, though he was doing a good job hiding it. 

Holden was pleased to be able to smell a candidate. Scent didn't lie, and he found himself on more familiar footing. Bill came in and took a seat next to Wendy. He glanced down at the copy of Russell's resume. 

“You're just about to finish up a degree in Criminal Justice. That's a common background to have in the FBI. What drew you to this position?”

“I've been taking psychology classes as electives and always loved them. I went ahead and got my minor, but I didn't go for a major since I wasn't planning on psychology as a career. Seeing an internship opportunity open up that combined both criminal justice and psychology seemed like the perfect fit for my interests.” 

Holden noted that his scent became less anxious as he answered and asked questions. His interest in _this_ position in particular was notable even to Holden. It was what the two lackluster interviews were missing. Like Angelli, Holden could see Greene working in their department.

“What do you think?” Bill asked, once Russell Greene had been shown out.

“I liked him. He and Angelli were the best by far,” Holden answered at once.

“Agreed. We'll need to decide between Mary Angelli and Russell Greene.” Wendy gazed down at the resume. “I like both of them, but I appreciate that Greene has a minor in psychology. He has the strongest background of any of the candidates we interviewed.”

“Still I liked Angelli's attitude, but I don't know how much that helps since I can say the same for Greene. You think you can deal with Greene?” Bill asked Holden.

“Sure. I have plenty of experience dealing with alphas.”

“He was alpha?” Wendy asked. “I can see it now that you mentioned it, but it's harder to tell alphas from betas without spending more time around them.”

“Yes, I could smell him as soon as he walked in. The alpha and the woman were the ones that were the least shocked to see me. It's the male betas that were the most confused.” Holden stretched then jumped slightly. “Sorry, Peanut keeps kicking me.”

“I'm pretty sure Angelli was relieved to see diversity in our department, and alphas are more used to interacting with omegas than betas are,” Bill said. “I'm fine with either one, but since there isn't a lot separating them in terms of the interviews themselves, then I would say on paper Greene is the stronger candidate.”

“Do you object to that?” Wendy asked Holden.

“No, it makes sense.” Holden didn't have a strong opinion either way and mostly wanted the interview process to be over.

“It's decided then.” Wendy stood up and pushed her chair in. “I'll take two good candidates to choose from. I'd say this went well.”

“I'll say the same, since it's over.”

* * *

Holden maneuvered the cart down the grocery store aisle only paying half attention to his surroundings. Inwardly he flipped through his grocery list and considered the prospect of their new intern. That they had all been in agreement was a good sign, and Russel had a useful educational background. He grabbed a couple of cans of tomato soup off the shelf, thinking it would be useful to have in the house.

“Holden, Holden Ford?”

Holden started at the sound of his name, and half turned in surprise to see Debbie standing not far from him, a plastic shopping basket in her hand. “Oh, Debbie. Hi.” He supposed he shouldn't be surprised. Last he knew, she lived in the area and needed to eat just like everybody else. “It's been awhile,” he added, unsure of what to say.

“Well over two years.” She looked at him harder, her own initial surprise having worn off. “Wow, you're preggo. When did that happen?”

“Oh, six and a half months ago,” he replied, taking her question literally. 

“Well, yeah, but I mean the last time I saw you, you were trying to pass yourself off as a beta.” She pushed back a strand of dark hair and eyed him curiously.

“I have a mate now. Bill – you remember Bill, we ate dinner at his house when we were dating.” Holden didn't see any reason to lie about his current relationship, and he was inordinately pleased with the bond bite on his shoulder.

“Wait, your partner, Bill? He's an alpha? I guess he must be.” She goggled at him. “He was married when I met him. You little home wrecker.”

Holden sighed. “I'm not little. As soon as people figure out my status, they perceive me as physically shrinking.”

Debbie's expression shifted to amusement. “ _That's_ what you're worried about?”

“It was more complicated than that, anyway.” Holden ignored her and continued on. “Are you still dating, what's his name, Patrick?”

She seemed unperturbed about the change in subject to herself. “No, one of my professors.”

“Then you hardly have room to judge,” Holden pointed out. “I guess that means you decided to continue on with a PhD?”

“Yes, I came that far, so I figured I might as well see it to the end. I should be finished in the spring, if all goes well.” 

She continued to observe him in a way that made him slightly uncomfortable, because he couldn't even begin to guess what she was thinking. _But wasn't that usually the case?_ His relationship with Bill was so much easier to navigate.

“Is this what you're really like?” She finally asked, brow furrowed, suddenly serious.

“Yes? What do you mean?” 

She gestured towards him. “The way you act and carry yourself is completely different than what I remember.”

“Oh, of course. Yes, this is what I'm like as an omega.” His omega mannerisms had become so second nature that it hadn't even occurred to him that he might seem strange or different to Debbie.

She fell silent, still studying him in a way that was becoming a little disconcerting. “You really lied.”

“That wasn't my intention. I was raised to downplay my natural mannerisms. I really didn't think it was a big deal at the time.” He was a little surprised she even still cared. She had obviously moved on with her life to other relationships and educational goals just as he had moved on.

“Misrepresenting yourself to that extent is a big deal, Holden.” Her voice had gone quieter and lost it's playful quality. 

“It was years ago, now, and at the time it wasn't my intent to deceive you.” He unconsciously rested a hand over Peanut. While it was interesting to run into Debbie, he was ready to continue on with his shopping and didn't feel like being judged, whatever he might have done in the past.

“Well, I guess I don't have to worry that the end of our relationship had anything to do with me. There's no way it could have worked out,” she finally said.

“We wouldn't have been compatible in the long run.”

She eyed his pregnant belly. “And here you are, going to have a baby.”

“Uh-huh. Good luck with your degree.” He smiled, meaning what he said as he moved past her. 

“Yeah. You too – with Bill and the baby,” she echoed.

Holden went on picking up the rest of the items they needed, feeling off kilter. Debbie wasn't someone he was trying to avoid. Truthfully, he hadn't given her much thought in some time. He wished her well and respected her intelligence, but knew they never would have been happy together. They were too different in fundamental ways. She had been more experimental and ready to cast off the systems that Holden worked within. Eventually she would go places he couldn't follow. And she wasn't going to readily understand what made him tick and just how much his status affected not just his outward behaviors, but his drive to succeed and need to be recognized by the alphas and betas who had difficulty seeing anything beyond omega.

By the time he pulled up to the house, Bill's car was in the drive way. He hauled half the groceries up to the front door, at which point his mate appeared to help. “Guess who I ran into.”

“I have no idea,” Bill replied, bags in hand.

“Debbie. She's working on her PhD.”

“Oh, should I be concerned?” Bill teased, having seen and predicted the dissolution of their relationship.

Holden paused to give him a quick kiss on the lips. “No, you're much more fun in bed. It was kind of an odd conversation. She seemed a little offended that I'm so different than what she remembered.”

“You mean when you were pretending to be a beta?”

He gave Bill a look. “Yeah,” he relented. “I'm just surprised she would care after all this time.”

“How well did you really understand Debbie?” Bill asked, nudging the door shut with his foot after the last of the bags were in. 

Holden frowned in thought. “Probably not that well,” he admitted. 

“I wouldn't worry about it.” Bill ran his hands over Holden's belly. “You're where you should be now, and she'll figure out where she needs to go, if she hasn't already.”


	4. Some Things Never Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protective alphas, family issues, and a looming due date, oh my!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up having to split chapter 5, so there are now 6 chapters. I didn't want to end it immediately after Peanut's birth.

Holden waited by the gate, more nervous than he cared to admit. Even as the relationship with his mother deteriorated, the relationship with his father improved. But his pregnancy had become such a sore subject with his mother, that he didn't know what to expect. Finally he saw his father's spare form appear, and Holden lumbered up from his seat to meet him.

“It's good to see you,” John said as they embraced awkwardly around Peanut's bulk. He took a step back to survey his son. “You're -”

“Round,” Holden finished for him, wishing not for the first time that he could smell betas. 

“How are you feeling? Come on, I don't want to keep you standing around.”

“Fine, I have some aches and pains, but they aren't so bad. It was the morning sickness that was awful,” he replied as they threaded their way through the airport. 

His father made a sympathetic face. “I remember your mother had terrible morning sickness for several months.” An awkward pause ensued as neither really wanted to address why John had come alone. Holden tried shove down the sadness that rose up at the thought that he couldn't share this experience with the person best able to understand.

“How's Bill?” John quickly changed the subject as they stepped out into the cold, clear December afternoon.

“Good, he's still at work. We've been busy. We hired an intern to help while I'm out on leave and we're interviewing for another agent.” He felt on familiar footing when it came to discussing work. He unlocked the trunk of the car for his father's suitcase and went around to unlock the doors. He carefully lowered himself into the vehicle. 

“Ah, it feels good to sit down. I used to go running every morning, that seems like a different lifetime.” Holden knew he was filling up the quiet spaces. It was a nervous habit he had never been able to fully break.

“I'm sure you'll be back running in no time,” John reassured him. “You only have a few more months.”

“Just a little over two. It's crazy, I have this little human being that's always with me, but I've never actually met them.”

“There's nothing like holding your child for the first time,” John replied. “Look, I know things have been tense lately, but I am happy for you.”

“Thanks, that means a lot.” _And Mom?_ He bit back the question most on his mind. “I hope you don't mind sleeping in Brian's room. We lost the guest room to the baby. Brian's with his mother this weekend, so it's free.”

“I'll be fine – stick me wherever.”

“I think you'll be more comfortable there than the sofa.” Holden hadn't expected John to have an issue with the sleeping arrangements. He was easy going, maybe a little too easy going in someways. It had let him get along well with Holden's more demanding mother, but on the other hand he wasn't able curb her worst excesses. It wasn't in his personality to question them too much or try when trying was likely to lead to tension. 

By the time Holden pulled into the driveway, Bill was already home. He greeted Holden's father with a handshake and smile. One thing that did give Holden a sense of relief was that his father genuinely seemed to like Bill. 

“Here, I'll show you were you'll be sleeping.” Holden directed his father down the hall to Brian's room. “Don't mind the Star Wars. It's his current obsession.”

John let out a soft laugh. “It's a cute room. I'll be fine in here, thanks for putting me up.”

“Of course,” Holden replied, starting to relax. He was glad to have his father there, even if it felt odd given the current non-relationship with his mother.

Dinner was a relaxed affair. In fact, Holden couldn't help but notice how comfortable his father seemed. He supposed it was not having his mother there. He didn't have to worry about how she was going to react or behave. It forced Holden to consider that his father was more aware of his wife's difficult temperament than Holden had previously given him credit for.

“How's Mom?” Holden asked quietly as he rinsed a plate and handed it to his father. It was the question he had avoided at the airport and all through dinner, but he couldn't help bringing up the elephant in the room. It was too big and intrusive to ignore any longer.

“She's fine,” he replied after a moment's hesitation that spoke volumes. Finally he turned and faced his son. “I'm sorry this happened. She's stubborn – it's where you get it from, and she isn't always good at apologizing.”

Holden took a deep calming breath. “I can't give her what she wants. This is who I am, who I've always been inside. I can't, I won't apologize for that.”

“And I don't expect you to.” John's tone became more serious. “You didn't do anything wrong by choosing this life. You have a career, Bill, a home. You've built a life for yourself here. It's different than what I expected, but there's nothing wrong with it.”

Holden rinsed another plate, giving himself a moment. “I don't expect her to understand... but she rejected Peanut.” He swallowed down the emotion that welled up when he gave voice to what bothered him the most. He was used to his mother not understanding him or his choices, but her grandchild?

John took the plate from Holden and slid it into the dishwasher with a clink. “She may come around. It's hard to say no to a little baby.”

_And if she does, it won't undo...this. She went too far this time._ “I'm glad your here.”

John clapped him affectionately on the shoulder. “So am I. Try not to worry about your mother, you've got a good thing going here.”

Holden smiled at that, though the conflicted feelings remained. He needed to hear his father's approval, but he couldn't exactly not worry about his mother. He was silent for a moment as he dried off the counter top. 

“Coffee?” Bill asked John as he reappeared.

“If you're having some, I wouldn't say no, but don't worry about it otherwise.”

“In that case, I'll put some on.” Bill gently moved Holden out of the way so he could reach the bag stashed in the upper cabinet.

“Did Mom ever talk about when she was growing up? I heard Will's side of it, but she never spoke much about her family.” _Stop picking at the scab_. He told himself, but wasn't able to quite leave it alone. He would like to have asked her, but even when they were on speaking terms, he was unlikely to get a real answer. She was good at skating around uncomfortable topics.

John fell silent long enough that Holden wondered if he had gone a step too far in his poking and prodding. “It was a very different time.”

“That's what Will said.”

“He was right. Attitude's have changed a lot – I know not everything's the way it should be, but we're light years ahead of where things were even a few decades ago.” He turned to Bill. “You're a little older than Holden, so you probably know what I mean.”

“Yes, 1980 is nothing like 40's and 50's, and for that we can all be thankful,” Bill agreed.

“There were some unfortunate stereotypes of alphas and omegas – particularly omegas, I'm afraid to say, and I think your mother took it to heart. But I can't speak for her. You'll have to ask her yourself.”

_What Will said. It's just hard to imagine that would be enough to turn you against your own family._ Holden didn't press any further. While Holden's relationship with his mother might be strained, she was still his father's wife, and as far as Holden could tell, they loved each other. He didn't want to put his father in the middle any more than he had too. 

Holden lay on his back staring up at the ceiling, vaguely aware of Bill climbing into bed next to him. His mate's hand on his chest brought him back to reality. “You OK?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Holden replied. “Just thinking. I'm coming to the conclusion that my mother's issues are deeper than feeling like a childhood outcast.”

“You're only just now realizing this?”

Holden rolled over to face Bill, seeking a more comfortable position with Peanut's weight. “Well, at first I thought her experiences as a child led her to place extra emphasis on having a 'normal' family. My not conforming to that made her feel rejected and threatened her picture of ideal family life. However, her behavior is extreme compared to the initial cause, especially since whatever societal pressure she might have experienced has diminished.”

“Are you profiling your mother?” Bill snorted quietly, not wanting to disturb John down the hall.

“Maybe... I'm just trying to understand. I can understand where her initial reaction to my changed behavior came from. But her continuing to hold out for this length of time only to reject her grandchild leads me to believe there's something more going on.”

“Holden, your mother's fucked up. It's not your fault and not something you can fix.” He kissed Holden, his soft, warm mouth taking the sting out of the words. “In the end, she's only hurting herself. Your Dad seems happy to be here.”

“Yeah, he is. I hope I'm not putting him in the middle --”

“You aren't,” Bill interrupted. “She is. She's the big elephant in the room, and there's no way around it.” He kissed Holden again. “You didn't create this situation.”

Holden snuggled as close as he could before Peanut got in the way. Bill let out a soft laugh. “Here, roll over, it will work better.” Holden did as he was told so Bill could spoon him. “Try not to worry. Just enjoy your Dad being here.”

* * *

The weekend passed quickly, his father flying home on Monday. Tuesday found Holden back at work, helping show the new intern the ropes and continuing his attempt at teaching.

He gazed out at the class as he gave his lecture, one part of his brain tuned into the points he was going over, and the other part focused on what his students were actually doing. On one hand, they were paying attention. On the other, he wasn't certain if they were interested in the lecture, or if they were interested in their very obviously pregnant omega instructor.

Holden did his best to carry on and behave as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Being pregnant should be normal, he told himself. It was how the species continued itself, and omegas had been getting pregnant since the dawn of man. Yet he had the feeling he had become something of a spectacle. He was also tired of standing at the podium, but he felt like sitting down made him seem even less authoritative than usual. 

When their time was up, most of the young men raced out as quickly as possible. Holden sighed and began to gather up his notes. The smell of alpha caught his attention, and he looked up to see one of his students hovering around.

“Can I help you?”

“Yeah, I just had a question about interview techniques.” A look of concern crossed his face. “Do you want a chair? Maybe you should sit down.”

Holden didn't often blow up in big outward displays of anger. It wasn't in his nature, but at that moment he was sorely tempted. “No, thank you. I'm fine. What did you want to ask?” He tried his best to appear unperturbed, though he inwardly bemoaned the loss of a chair to his pride. The student, George, Holden recalled, still looked unconvinced that Holden was in fact, alright. He started to say something, then thought the better of it, and changed track.

“How do you keep from going over the line? At what point does it become coercive?” George asked, trying to sound as if there was nothing wrong, but clearly thrown off by being in the presence of a pregnant omega. 

_At least he's been paying attention to the class._ Holden was willing to give credit where credit was due. They spoke for awhile, before George had to hurry off. Holden made his way back down to the BSU feeling annoyed and out of sorts. 

“Sorry I'm late. I had to talk to a student after class,” he said to Russell as he sank down into his chair with a great deal of relief.

“That's OK, Wendy had me listening to some of the old interviews. He looked at Holden critically, “Are you OK?”

“Just glad to be sitting down. George, the student I was talking too, offered me a chair, but I refused, then got stuck standing around for an additional twenty minutes,” Holden explained.

“Why not just take the chair?”

“Because I'm tired of every alpha in the building treating me like I'm infirm. I'm not feeble – just pregnant,” he complained, his frustration bubbling over.

“Here we go, don't say I didn't warn you,” Bill said as leaned against the doorway to his office, listening. Russell looked at Bill and back at Holden, clearly confused.

“I'm sure he didn't mean it that way. Look, it's just instinct to look out for omegas, especially if they're, vulner...” Russell trailed off realizing he was in a losing situation.

“I've been a Special Agent for years, this is the building where I work, it's fine, I'm fine. My mate doesn't have a problem with it.” Holden bristled. He actually liked Russell, but at the moment his patience with concerned alphas that weren't Bill was nil.

“But your mate wasn't there,” Russell said gently.

“Like Don Quixote tilting at fucking windmills,” Bill grinned, seemingly happy to spectate. 

“Of course he wasn't. Why would he be? I was teaching a bunch of bored students.” Holden turned his head slightly so he could give Russell a disapproving stare while not meeting his gaze.

Bill wandered over and placed a hand on Holden's shoulder. “Russell, if I were you, I'd give up now. Trust me, you aren't going to win this one.” He gave Holden's shoulder a pat and gazed down at his mate with an amused expression.

“What?” Holden demanded.

“Nothing,” Bill assured him, though by his expression and tone, it was clear he found Holden's outburst funny. Russell, finally realizing that he was fighting a losing battle, had fallen silent, preferring to study Holden quizzically as if not quite sure what to make of him.

* * *

The one scenario Bill fantasized about the most involved bending Holden over his desk and fucking him. It was also a scenario he would never engage in. People were willing to look the other way when it came to their relationship, because Bill and Holden behaved professionally and didn't flaunt it. It also helped that most of the Bureau didn't want to involve itself in alpha/omega issues more than it had to. The last thing Bill wanted to do was risk Holden's place in the department. That said, it didn't mean that Bill didn't _think_ about it, and his brain seemed to want to team up with his dick more and more lately.

He reluctantly drug his gaze away from his mate, forcing the fantasy from his head. Holden continued his conversation with Russel, unaware of Bill's impure thoughts. The sound of their voices carried into Bill's office. He couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but could easily pick out Holden's softer tones against Russel's deeper voice. He wondered how long it would take Russel to figure out how to talk to Holden without causing mild offense. It wasn't that they didn't get along, but that Russel hadn't met any omegas quite like Holden Ford.

Bill glanced at the clock feeling restless. What he wanted was alone time with his mate. He had wanted it since watching Holden dress that morning, and there hadn't been any time for bedroom shenanigans at that point. The truth was, Bill was deeply attracted to Holden's pregnant body. He supposed it was some kind of alpha thing, but he wasn't sure. His mind wandered again to what he would _like_ to be doing – taking Holden's pants off, and he once again forced it back on track. Eventually he managed to lose himself in his work until Holden came wandering in.

“Will you be ready to go soon?” He asked, leading against the door frame, his arms underneath his belly.

“Yeah, just give me a minute. I lost track of time.” He pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He neatened the papers on his desk, stood, grabbed his coat and followed Holden, trying not to stare at his backside. He congratulated himself for being a model of self restraint for not grabbing Holden's ass in the elevator.

He felt a weight lift as they settled into Bill's car. The feeling of a Friday night when they'd both be home for the weekend. He could think of a number of things he'd like to spend the weekend doing. He glanced at Holden who appeared to be eyeing him sidelong and had leaned towards him.

“Are you trying to scent me?”

“You've been funny all day,” Holden replied. He sat back. “Ah...”

“Ah, what?”

“You're turned on.” A smirk tugged at the omega's lips, before his expression became more speculative. “I admit, it's hard to see myself as an object of desire when I'm...round.” 

Bill reached over to lay a hand on Holden's thigh. “Round with my child,” he purred, giving his thigh a squeeze and a rub. “You're sexy as hell, baby. You haven't realized that yet?”

Holden shrugged, ducking his head a little. “I know how you respond to me, but that doesn't make it less, I don't know. Not surprising, I guess, but... I like being pregnant,” he admitted. “But, it is strange to see your body change so dramatically.” He covered Bill's larger hand with his own softer one, the thumb rubbing the back in slow circular motions. His touch made heat bloom in Bill's belly. 

“Fuck, sweetheart, you have no idea what you're doing to me.”

Holden laughed, a soft puff of sound. “I'm going to let that pass, since you're being so complimentary. Are you OK to drive, or are you too distracted?”

“I'm fine, and the distraction is in the car with me.”

“Ha! I didn't start this. I very innocently got in the car with you.” 

“We'll be home soon anyway,” Bill said with satisfaction.

Holden bit back another laugh. “You just can't wait, can you?”

“I've been waiting all day.”

Once Bill pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, he leaned over to press his lips to Holden's for a quick kiss. He didn't let it go on to long, preferring to not get up to hankypanky in the confines of the car. Once they were inside he slid his arms around Holden and reached around to take two fistfuls of ass in his hands and pull his mate as close as Holden's belly allowed. Bill rubbed and squeezed the flesh in his hands, his mouth seeking out Holden's lips. Holden made a soft sound of surprise at Bill's assertiveness before tilting his head and parting his lips in delicious invitation. Bill ran his tongue along their plush surface, before teasing Holden's own tongue that had darted out seeking contact. 

Holden's hands gripped his upper arms as Bill deepened the kiss. He was relishing being able to finally give in and enjoy the arousal that tightened his belly and made his cock hard in his pants. He attempted to pull Holden closer, but Peanut proved an impediment.

Holden broke the kiss. “This is a little awkward, and I'd like to get off my feet.”

“Are you too tired, baby?” Bill asked, momentarily feeling guilty for not having asked his mate that before pouncing on him.

“No, I want you to fuck me, just not standing here.” He flashed a good humored smile. 

Bill reached out and took his hand, leading Holden to the bedroom. “Let's get all this off of you,” he murmured, untucking his mate's dress shirt and helping pull the sweater off over his head. He deposited it carelessly on the floor and started on the buttons.

Holden's hands came to rest lightly on his wrists. “You're very take charge today.”

“I want to take care of you.” He leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead and then a lingering one just below his ear. “I want to make you come apart.”

“Oh.” Holden's cheeks flushed pink, much to Bill's satisfaction. He loved the fact that despite several years of regular fucking, he could still make Holden blush. He paused to caress one flushed cheek before finishing with his shirt and sliding it back off his shoulders so it could land unceremoniously on the floor with the sweater. 

Holden rested his hands on Bill's shoulders to steady himself as he toed off his shoes. Bill helped steady him, enjoying the feel of bare skin under his fingers. “I've lost all my balance and agility.” Holden half laughed half huffed as Bill nuzzled against his hair.

“And it's adorable.”

“Okay, alpha.” He gave Bill's shoulders a squeeze, straightening up and kissing him sweetly on the mouth.

Bill guided him to sit on the edge of the bed. Holden sank down slowly with a sigh of relief as he flexed his feet. “Feel better?” Bill asked as he crouched in front of his mate, undoing the fly of Holden's slacks and working them and his briefs off.

“Yes, much.” He lifted his hips to help Bill relieve him of his pants. “I just get a little achy.”

Bill pulled off his socks before running his hands up Holden's bare calves and thighs. His mate's body was softer now, and he paused to admire it before pressing kisses to his rounded middle. He reached down to caress Holden's rapidly swelling cock and was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath. He chuckled into Holden's skin, planting another lingering kiss.

“Like that, do you?”

Holden made a pleased sound before fully opening his eyes that had drifted half shut. “Why am I the only one naked?” He nudged Bill playfully with his toes.

“Because you're distracting. I thought we went over this already. Here, lean back a little.” Bill gently pushed Holden so he was leaning back braced on his hands. Better able to reach his partner's cock without Peanut in the way, Bill bent and sucked Holden into his mouth. He was rewarded by Holden's sharp intake of breath and drawn out, “ _Oh._ ”

Bill slid up and down Holden's shaft, sucking hard before pulling off the panting omega. “I don't want you to come yet – I want you to come with my dick inside you.”

“OK, I've got no complaints with that,” Holden replied breathlessly.

Bill unbuttoned his shirt and threw it aside along with his undershirt. He hauled himself to his feet to remove his now uncomfortably tight pants and boxers, aware of Holden's eyes on him. The cooler air in the room kissed his bare skin, and he settled next to Holden and captured his mouth in a deep, slow kiss.

“What's comfortable for you?” Peanut had become quite the obstruction when it came to sexual positions.

“Hmm...Probably this,” Holden said as he situated himself on his hands and knees in the middle of the bed. “It feels great no matter what, but I miss seeing your face.”

“I know, but you do look good like this.” Bill run his blunt nails lightly down his mate's spine, watching his back arch in response. He settled on his knees behind Holden, pressing kisses over the small of his his back while his hands explored the creamy skin of his ass and upper thighs. He wasn't as toned as he had been, advanced pregnancy having softened his body, but it was still appealing and so inviting to touch and squeeze.

He slid his hand up to grab the yielding flesh of his ass and spread it apart, so he could tease Holden with his fingers. The sight of his fingers disappearing inside of his mate and the feel of him, tight and hot, further stoked Bill's arousal.

“That's nice,” Holden sighed in approval.

“I can make it better.” When he finally sank into Holden, the wet, tight, heat of him momentarily leaving Bill bereft of words. “Fuck,” he finally gasped out.

“That's what we're doing,” Holden replied in a breathless laugh, pressing back into Bill in a silent request for him to move already.

Bill began slowly grinding into him, hazy with pleasure. Even though the doctor had assured him that sex was completely fine, or in her words, “it's fine, try not to shove him off the bed or drop him or anything.” However, he couldn't help but treat his mate's body with extra gentleness, at least until Holden got frustrated.

“Harder, Bill. You aren't going to hurt anything – that's...that's better.” His voice trailed off into a soft moan as did as directed, pumping into him with more force and speed. Bill loved the feel of him as Holden's body firmly gripped his cock, he also loved the scent of aroused omega and the hot flesh under his hands. He also appreciated the closeness with his mate, knowing him in ways that other people never would. 

Holden came with a gasp, and Bill felt even more pleased and aroused that he had made the omega feel good. He ground into the body of his mate for a little while longer, everything breaking apart and blowing away except for physical sensation. He finally reached much needed release, and panting, laid down beside Holden.

Holden slid down to curl up on his side. “That was nice,” he said, voice muffled by the bedding. Bill patted his hip in response and went to to get a washcloth to clean Holden up with. Holden stretched languidly while Bill completed his ministrations and curled back up again, face sleepy.

“I thought about just getting take out tonight,” Bill said, retrieving the blanket and covering his drowsy mate. “If you want to lay down until it gets here...”

“That sounds amazing.” His voice sounded thick and sleepy as he snuggled down into the bed.

He reemerged an hour later around the same time the pizza arrived dressed in pajama pants and a sweatshirt. His scent and body language made it clear that Holden was in a good mood as he ate. Bill knew carrying an almost fully developed Peanut around had to be a strain.

“How are you feeling?” Bill asked as Holden leaned against him later, the blue glow from the TV flickering over his skin. 

“Hmm?” He turned his head in acknowledgment of Bill's question. “Good. I didn't know how I'd feel being pregnant, and I've actually liked it. But, I'm going to have to get Peanut out.”

The anxiety was obvious in Holden's voice, and Bill shifted to wrap his arm around his mate. “You can do it, and I'll be there. You won't be alone.” It was the most Bill could offer, since it was Holden who had to give birth. But apparently it was enough, since Holden leaned up to kiss him.

“Thank you,” he said.


	5. Welcome To This World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holden wants Peanut out, and Bill wants Holden to have the support he needs. Neither are prepared for what a hospital stay means for omegas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though I've written omegaverse for some other fandoms, this is the first that involved pregnancy (I did write a couple of mpreg stories before, but that was Star Trek future science not A/B/O). I've really enjoyed getting the chance to flesh this part of the omegaverse out.

Bill peeked into the bedroom and was met with the sight of his mate curled up asleep. He decided he had about twenty to thirty minutes before Holden would return to consciousness, and he tamped down the feeling of guilt that bubbled to the surface. He didn't like going behind Holden's back, but as his due date approached, the more Bill had come to the realization that Holden needed support. He didn't have friends who were fellow omegas – he had no good way of meeting them, since his social connections were through work. His mother had gone through pregnancy, childbirth, and caring for a newborn, but wasn't talking to him. Bill was willing to do whatever he could, but he had no experience with children under the age of three let alone pregnancy.

He pulled out the address book and flipped to Will and Stevie's number. _He can't get too upset. It's for his own good._ Bill told himself as he dialed. 

“Hello, Stevie? This is Bill.”

“Oh, hi, is everything alright? How's Holden?” Stevie sounded a little concerned, but Bill didn't usually call on his own.

“Yeah, everything's fine. He's taking a nap. This is a little awkward, since he doesn't know I'm on the phone with you, and I'm not sure what you can even do, but...” Bill found himself somewhat at a loss. He wasn't sure how Stevie was suppose to fix things, but he didn't know who else to turn to.

“I'll do whatever I can. What's going on?” The concern faded to puzzlement.

“Holden...needs more support than he probably lets on. He isn't close to any other omegas, and he and his mother haven't been on speaking terms since he told her he was pregnant.”

“What? Really? I know she's a cow, but I would have thought she'd be happy to be a grandparent. It's the only way she's getting grand kids.”

“No, she was very disapproving, and that was the last straw for Holden. His father's been making the attempt to stay in his life. He came for a visit while Linda was out of town, but it's not an easy situation. Holden didn't want to bother you with any of this.”

Stevie made a disgusted sound. “I wish he had said something. I assumed Linda would want to help, especially considering how she likes to be in control. Look, let me talk it over with Will, but I'll plan to come up for a week when they're home from the hospital. Not that you two aren't capable of figuring things out for yourself, but I remember what a big help out parents were.”

Relief washed over Bill. It was more than he had hoped for. “Thank you. I really appreciate it, and I'm sure Holden will too. It's not too much trouble?”

“No, not at all. I don't work, and my kids are grown. I have the time, and I'm sure Will won't have any issues with it.”

Bill thanked him again and promised to send his good wishes to Holden when he woke up. Holden staggered into the living room about ten minutes later and sank down heavily onto the sofa. Bill winced sympathetically, it was obvious that Holden was comfortable.

“I spoke to Stevie on the phone while you were asleep,” Bill began. “He's planning to come up for a week after the baby is born.”

Holden blinked at him sleepily and then suddenly came fully awake. “Oh, that's great. I'm sorry I missed his call.”

Bill hesitated. By assuming Stevie had been the one to call, he gave Bill an out. “I called him,” he admitted, thinking better of lying to his mate. “I'm worried about you.”

Holden's expression became confused. “Worried? Why? I'm fine.”

Bill scooted closer and placed a hand affectionately on his shoulder. “As someone who is about to go through childbirth and is about to be stuck at home all day with an infant, you have no support – not from someone who understands.” He looked meaningfully at Holden who seemed to be experiencing conflicting emotions.

“Oh, this is about Mom.” His voice came out flatter, and Bill could tell he wasn't entirely pleased.

Bill began to rub his shoulder. “Yes, at least partly. Turn around a little,” he directed as he began to massage Holden's shoulders. He knew his back had to be aching.

“I didn't want to bother them with that,” he replied somewhat huffily, though he leaned into Bill's hands.

“I know, but Holden, that's silly. They're happy to be bothered. They're your family, they care about you.” _Though with the way the rest of your family behaves, the confusion is understandable._ He paused in his ministrations. “Let's do this right.” He got up to return a minute later with a bottle of massage oil. He resumed his seat and pulled Holden's shirt off. “Isn't this better?” He asked as he worked the oil into Holden's shoulders and the back of his neck.

“Yes,” came the grudging reply. “I just didn't want to get into my ongoing mother issues with other people.”

“You talk to me about it,” Bill pointed out, moving down his mate's back, working out the knots.

“You're my mate, you live with me. Are you rubbing my back to get out of this?” Holden accused even as he melted under Bill's hands.

“Maybe, but you looked uncomfortable. I didn't ask Stevie to come up here – he volunteered. He likes kids and likes being useful. He wouldn't have offered, if he didn't want to come.”

“Hmmm...” Holden's tone lightened somewhat. “Ah, right there,” he directed.

“Lower back? That's not a surprise.” Bill worked at the problem area, and Holden fell silent apart form relieved noises.

“Is this going to make you come?” Bill laughed.

“I think I almost could. You have no idea how good this feels. My back has been awful lately.”

“Ready to get Peanut out?”

“Yes, it's come to that point. I've tried to educate, so I know what to expect, but I'm not sure it helped. Human reproduction is strange. Omegas, women, it doesn't matter. This is the most unnatural natural phenomenon.”

Bill barked out a laugh at that. “Well, you don't have too much longer. Then we'll have a baby who wants to be fed in the middle of the night.”

“I'll take that over the physical discomfort at this point. It's been great, mostly, but...”

Bill could feel Holden's body continue to relax, and he figured he was doing a decent job. At least it distracted him from Bill's transgression. “You'll do great baby, and I for one, am glad that Stevie decided to take a road trip.”

Holden sighed. “True. It'll be nice to have him here.”

“So I'm forgiven?”

“I think you've made up for it.”

* * *

“Hey, we've got a meeting,” Russell said, appearing by Holden's desk.

Holden quickly looked at his desk calendar. “We do? Did I forget about it?”

“No, it wasn't planned.”

Holden tried to catch some of Russell's scent, because something about the alpha wasn't reading quite right. Holden swore he seemed amused, even though there wasn't anything remarkable about a meeting. “OK,” he paused, gathering himself to haul is unbalanced weight up off the chair.

“Do you need a hand?”

Holden hesitated before swallowing his pride and accepting Russell's help. It had become a sad fact of his life that getting up was a big enough challenge to require assistance. Russell easily pulled him upwards, and Holden grabbed a notebook and pen. “Do you know what this is about?”

Russell shrugged. “Not sure.”

Holden eyed him sidelong. He wasn't baffled by alphas the way he often was with betas. Something was up. He followed Russell to the conference room, his mind half on other things, mostly the fact that that Peanut was kicking him. When they walked into the room, Holden came face to face with his coworkers who were standing around smiling, they also had cup cakes.

“Oh!” He exclaimed.

“Come on and sit down,” Gregg suggested. “You look like you might explode at any minute.”

He looked around bemusedly and felt his cheeks flush. “I feel like I'm going to explode. Is this for me?”

“Of course, we want to give you a send off into parenthood.” Wendy looked amused.

Holden turned to Bill. “Where you in on this?”

He shook his head. “I knew about it, but I wasn't allowed to help.”

“Of course not, Dad,” Russell barked a laugh as he snagged the seat nearest to him and pushed the other one out towards Holden. Holden gladly sat and accepted a cupcake. He had attempted to stick to healthy habits during his pregnancy and felt the treat was well deserved.

“Maybe if I eat this, it will appease Peanut who has been kicking me off and on for the last hour,” he grinned, touched by the gesture from his department. 

“We have something for you, as well. The box is big, so um, just pretend that it doesn't look like a five year old wrapped it,” Russell said, getting up to retrieve the box that had been hiding under the end of the table.

Holden hauled himself up with a steadying hand from Bill, curious. The gift did look like a five year old wrapped it, and Holden supposed as the intern, it had fallen to Russell to attempt the feat. He undid the paper and tugged at the flaps until the tape gave way. It contained a lot of diapers as well as other helpful supplies. 

“We thought we'd stick to useful items, and trust me, you are going to go through diapers fast,” Gregg explained.

“No, I really appreciate it, this is great. I didn't expect this at all, other than Russell being a little weird.”

“You should have sent a beta,” Bill laughed. “And this is great.”

“Are you ready for this?” Russell asked.

“As we'll ever be. We have everything set up, and I'm really ready to get the baby out, but labor is kind of terrifying,” Holden admitted. Rationally he knew that giving birth to babies was a completely normal and natural event, but he couldn't quite wrap his head around the reality of having to push another human being out of his body.

“If it makes you feel any better, my mate thought labor was awful, but a year and half later he's talking about wanting another one, so...”

“Are you going to? Have another baby?” Wendy asked as she peeled the paper cup from the bottom of a cupcake.

“Not quite yet. We want the first one out of diapers and to get more financially stable. Right now we're living with his mother. Her health isn't great, and the house is too much for her to take care of herself. This way she gets to spend time with her grandson, get the house and yard taken care of, the shopping done and so on, and we get extra help with Charlie and a chance to save some money back.”

“Sounds like a win win situation,” Bill replied.

“It's been working out well for everybody.” Russell turned to Holden. “You'll be fine. It will be rough for a little while, but then you won't have a baby sitting on your bladder, kicking you, and you won't have to waddle anymore.”

“That seems like a fair trade off,” Holden admitted, graciously ignoring the waddling comment.

* * *

“Everything looks good for you and the baby,” the doctor smiled. “I will tell you that many omegas find giving birth in a hospital distressing, but with a first child I highly recommend you make it to the hospital.”

Holden regarded her somewhat puzzled. “Of course, I assumed I'd be going to the hospital – in case anything went wrong.”

“It's easy to say that now when you aren't in distress. It's instinct. Hospitals are wonderful places in many ways, but they don't take into account omegas' need to nest.”

“I would think most people would want to go home with their baby regardless.” Holden still wasn't convinced, feeling no particular aversion to giving birth in a hospital. It seemed safer, and instincts or not, he wasn't an irrational person.

“Of course, but omegas ratchet that desire up to an eleven.” She turned to Bill. “It's your job to keep him calm. A hospital room isn't going to feel safe, and omegas struggle with not having their baby with them the entire time.” 

Bill cast a knowing look at his mate. “Understood.”

Holden was the only omega Bill had true intimate experience with, but he knew Holden well enough to take the doctor seriously. Whether or not Holden wanted to admit it, he was a typical omega which included nesting tendencies. This was put to the test within four days of Holden's due date.

“We need to go now,” Bill said, gently but firmly. Holden was sitting on the edge of the bed. While he had put his shoes on, he didn't seem inclined to move towards the door. He could smell Holden's anxiety, but it seemed like a normal response to labor. 

Holden looked around the room and then back at Bill. “I-I really don't want to.” He seemed a little confused as his instincts warred with logic.

“I know you don't, baby, but we need to go. It's important, come on.” He took Holden's hands and encouraged him up on his feet.

Holden suddenly winced. “Ow, that did not feel good.”

“That's why we need to go,” Bill repeated, stooping to grab the bag sitting by the bedroom door. He slung the strap over his shoulder and regained his hold on his mate.

Holden allowed himself to be lead to the door where Bill helped him with his coat. He balked again in the doorway, so Bill pulled him through not giving him an option. Bill tamped down his own growing nerves as they buckled in, and he backed out of the driveway. There was little traffic at nearly ten thirty at night. Bill didn't know what he would do if they had ended up in a traffic jam. As much as Holden wanted to stay put, Bill wanted to get him to the hospital under medical supervision. He felt like he might be able to breathe again once they were there. Maybe. 

Bill glanced at Holden who looked uncomfortable. He reached out and gave his knee a squeeze. “You OK?”

“If terrified is considered OK, but I guess that's to be expected.”

Bill concentrated at the immediate task at hand. _One thing at a time._ He couldn't let himself worry, because Holden could literally smell his fear, and it would make his own anxiety worse. So he reached over and grabbed Holden's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze and focused on getting to the hospital, then concentrated on getting Holden checked in. It wasn't until Holden was in a room under the care of a nurse that he allowed his worry to start seeping through.

Omegas gave birth all the time. Like women, they were uniquely made to handle labor and delivery. However, that didn't mean that things never went wrong. It didn't mean the omega and/or the baby always lived. Sure, it might be a small chance – especially since Holden had a healthy and normal pregnancy, but even a small chance was terrifying when he could do nothing to help his mate. Holden was nervous and in pain, and there was nothing he could do other than be there. He felt a little like he had years ago when he and Holden had been in the car accident, only in slow motion. Events had begun, and he had no power to alter their outcome.

It took six hours for an indignant Peanut to come into the world. When the nurse laid her on Holden's chest, Bill had to wipe the mist from his eyes. Holden had tears shamelessly running down his face and the biggest grin Bill had ever seen on him.

He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Holden's damp forehead. “She's beautiful.” He reached out to touch one tiny fist. Peanut had calmed down once she found herself with her parent. It wasn't until the doctor took her away to check her over and take measurements that the trouble started, and not just from Peanut.

* * *

Holden decided he must be losing his mind.

He sat cradling his dozing baby, Bill seated next to him, feeling as relaxed as it was possible to feel. Emily was a warm weight against his chest, and he marveled that he and Bill had managed to make a little human. She was perfect, so utterly perfect, and Holden was completely besotted. Bill himself exuded calm alpha scent, undoubtedly caught in a feedback loop with whatever Holden was giving off. 

There was a soft knock at the door, and every muscle in Holden's body stiffened. He felt Bill's hand on his shoulder as the nurse poked his head in. “How are you all doing?” He asked in a pleasant voice that did little to offset Holden's growing anxiety.

“Don't take my baby,” Holden blurted out. Bill rubbed his shoulder in a soothing motion.

The nurse gave him a soft smile. “She's sleeping, and you need to rest too.” He walked over and sat down in the chair on the other side of Holden's bed.

“Let me guess,” Bill began. “You drew the short straw?”

He laughed at that. “It makes more sense for an omega to look after another omega,” came the diplomatic reply. He turned his attention to Holden.

“She'll be fine, we'll take good care of her.”

“I know,” Holden said, not relaxing one bit and shifting away from the nurse. “But I can't help it, I don't know what's wrong with me.” He knew his behavior was irrational, but anxiety and fear short circuited his brain, and he couldn't force himself to respond the way the nurse wanted him to.

“Nothing's wrong with you. This is what you're supposed to do, but it's not necessary right now. Everything's safe here.” The nurse's scent was calm despite the antics of his adult patient

He slowly stood and inched over next to the bed, as Holden curled around Emily, careful not to disturb her. “Please don't.”

“You need to rest, Holden. Miss Emily will be fine.”

“He's not going to rest worrying about where his baby is,” Bill broke in, his voice soft, but holding a hint of reproach.

“I can give him something to help him sleep, but unfortunately, hospital policy insists...” He made a helpless gesture. 

“And the policies were written by betas with other betas in mind,” Bill pointed out, wrapping an arm around his mate. “I'm not trying to give you a hard time, but...”

“Believe me when I say I understand, and off the record, you aren't wrong. But don't let my supervisors know I said that. Unfortunately, this is the way much of the medical profession works, but you probably know that by now. They did intentionally hire an omega nurse for this ward.” He grinned. “Yours truly, so they do care, there just aren't enough studies out for them to feel comfortable changing hospital policy.”

“Christ, omegas have been having babies since the dawn of time,” Bill grumbled as Holden pressed more closely into his warm bulk.

“I know, I know, you're preaching to the choir, but I do need to get Emily back to the nursery. Can I have her? I promise she'll be in good hands,” he soothed.

Holden had only been half listening to the exchange, worried about the prospect of another sleepless night without his baby. He wished Bill could step in and fix it, because he was really exhausted, but knew he couldn't. He felt Bill's lips against his forehead.

“Come on baby, you're going to have to let her go for a little while. You only have one more day here, and then we'll all be home, and you can nest properly.”

“I don't nest,” Holden grumbled into his shoulder, pulling a snort from Bill.

“Let her go, Holden, we don't want to wake her up,” Bill continued, not dignifying his reply with a further response. 

Holden knew he had to recognize defeat. Nurse Moran would simply outlast them all, and he didn't want to work Emily up. He loosened his hold so the nurse could lift her up even as Holden begged him not to. Emily fussed for a few moments and then quieted again.

“Holden, look at me,” Bill said, turning Holden's face towards his own, though not staring him down. “She's going to be alright. Everything's going to be alright.” Bill pressed kisses to his face.

“I'm not an illogical person,” Holden insisted, feeling completely out of control and helpless.

“I know you aren't,” Bill agreed. “Remember the doctor said this kind of thing was normal for omegas.”

“I'll be back with something to help him sleep,” Moran said as he quietly left with the small person who was blissfully unaware of the drama she was causing.

Holden let Bill hold him for a few minutes and focused on slowing his breathing. “Are you going to be OK?” Bill asked.

Holden nodded, and Bill gently helped him to lay back. “Yesterday you pushed out another human being. You really do need rest.” He brushed Holden's cheek with the backs of his fingers. 

Holden began to relax despite himself, his mate's scent and touch soothing. He closed his eyes, for a moment or two he started to drift, only to come wide awake again. “Why do they have to take her?” He fretted, half sitting up, then winced at the sudden movement.

“Because they have stupid fucking policies. Holden, she's fine, please try to rest.”

“Here, take these. They'll help you relax,” Moran said, handing Holden two pills and a cup of water.

Holden looked at them suspiciously, the desire to rest without anxiety fighting his instincts that told him he needed to be aware, not in a drugged sleep.

“Holden,” Bill said, voice firm. “Take them.”

Grudgingly he popped them in his mouth and swallowed them with half a cup of water. He curled up on his side with the blanket tucked under his chin. Finally, his eyes began to feel heavy and sleep took him.

* * *

“Bill,” a familiar voice called out.

He turned to find Wendy walking towards him, a stuffed toy in her hand. “Congratulations.” She squeezed his upper arm affectionately. “How are they doing?”

Bill took a sip of the coffee he had ducked out to forage. “They're both healthy. Holden is climbing the walls – hospitals aren't made for omegas.” Seeing the concerned look on her face, he continued. “He can't nest properly, and being away from his baby is really stressful.” He took another sip of coffee, he needed the caffeine. “It's fucking hospital policy that Emily spends the night in the nursery, so they can monitor her, and give Holden a chance to rest. Only they have to drug him to get him to sleep, and it's a battle to get Emily away from him.”

Wendy frowned in disapproval. “That's unfortunate. You'd think they'd be more aware that their omega patients have different needs.” 

“You'd think, but I should know better by now.” He started walking back to Holden's room. “I'm worried he's going to have a panic attack.”

“When are they releasing them?”

Bill smiled as they neared the door and heard Holden chattering away to Emily.“Tomorrow morning, thank god, hey Holden, visitor.”

Holden was sitting up in bed, comfortable in a pair of flannel pajamas, and looked as happy as could be cradling his daughter. He looked up from Emily and smiled. “Hi, Wendy.”

“How are you feeling?” Wendy asked as handed the stuffed rabbit to Holden. “You look good.”

“Thank you. I'm sore, definitely sore. Other than that, I just want out of the hospital. You can hold her, if you want.”

Wendy carefully took Emily and seated herself next to the bed. “She's beautiful.”

Holden looked so pleased with himself, Bill thought he might explode. “Everyone sends their congratulations,” Wendy went on. “Look at all that hair.”

“That would be Bill's contribution,” Holden laughed. “I've been told it was that color originally.”

“Ha ha,” Bill replied, feeling as proud as Holden looked. She _was_ beautiful. She started to fuss, kicking her little legs petulantly.

“She's probably hungry. Do you mind if I feed her? It's OK for men to walk around shirtless, but I'm not sure if that extends to feeding a baby.”

“It doesn't bother me, do what you need to do. Here,” she handed Emily back just as she began to cry. 

“Oh, poor thing. I know, you're starving. It's your tiny stomach, and then you spit half of it up. It's very hard being a baby,” Holden rattled on as he shrugged out of his top.

Bill bit back a laugh at the one sided conversation. Holden settled back comfortably against the bed, and once Emily was occupied, he turned his attention back to Wendy. “How's work?”

“Not much has changed in the past few days.”

“Oh, that's true. It feels longer somehow. I'm ready to be off for awhile, but it's weird. I haven't taken more than a few weeks off at one time since I started working full time...” he trailed off when he saw the nurse in the doorway. Bill could see the omega immediately stiffen.

“It's OK, I'm just checking up on you two,” Moran quickly assured him, sensing Holden's distress. “She's eating, good. How are you feeling?”

“I'm fine. Can we be released?” Holden asked, practically daring Moran to say no.

“Tomorrow morning,” Moran replied cheerfully, as if his patient wasn't glaring at him. “Less than twenty four hours.”

Bill knew Moran was just doing his job, but he wished the nurse would go away. The happy omega chemicals has been replaced by anxiety, and Bill was growing more concerned about his mate. Sure it was normal for new omega parents to find the hospital stay stressful, but they didn't necessarily have preexisting anxiety disorders. It was a testament to how far Holden had come in terms of his mental health that he hadn't already had a panic attack.

Moran looked between Holden and Bill for a moment. “Call me, if you need anything.” He flashed Holden and Bill a genuine smile before slipping out.

As soon as he left the room, Holden relaxed. “I don't want to make his job difficult, but I can't help it.”

“He knows that,” Bill reassured him. “He's an omega himself, and I'm sure he's seen plenty of omega patients. That's why they hired him. Remember what he said – less than twenty four hours.”

“Less than twenty four hours,” Holden breathed.

He spent the day holding onto 'less than twenty four hours' as a mantra in hopes that it would stave off his growing anxiety. Knowing what was coming made everything even worse, and he found himself crying into Bill's chest, frustration, loss, and confusion filling him until he could barely breath. He knew Emily was completely safe, and they'd be reunited shortly, but that knowledge did nothing to quell his screaming instincts that insisted something was horribly wrong. He was ashamed of what he knew was an overreaction and his inability to control his emotional state.

“It's OK, baby, it's OK,” Bill soothed, his hand rubbing up and down his back . Every so often he would kiss Holden's hair.

“I'm sorry,” he finally gasped out.

“It's not your fault,” Bill cut him off before Holden could find the breath to continue. “The nurse is going to bring a sedative so you can sleep, and in the morning we'll all go home.” He fell silent for a few minutes. “I hate this place too. It's fucking stupid to sedate you instead of just leaving Emily here. But this is the last night. Tomorrow we'll all be home.”


	6. The Joys of Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holden is happy to leave the hospital, but has some other concerns on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story has grown to seven chapters, but the seventh really is the last, I promise. I had originally intended for this one to be five or six chapters, then have a separate shorter story (probably a two parter) that tied up the loose ends from this arc. But once I really got into writing the next story, I realized it was probably going to be more of a one shot and would just make more sense as the last chapter to this story. So, yeah, that's why this one keeps growing.

“And this is the kitchen,” Holden prattled on to Emily who seemed unimpressed by her new surroundings, but then Bill decided she probably couldn't see them very well anyway. He couldn't help but grin as his mate showed their daughter the house. Though Holden moved carefully due to the remaining soreness from the birth, Bill thought he looked better than he had in days.

“Feeling good?”

“Oh, yeah. We're home.” He flashed Bill a smile, and the alpha couldn't help but notice how tired he looked. “And here,” Holden began with a flourish. “Is the bedroom, not your bedroom, but you're going to sleep in here with us for a little while. You even have your own bed.”

“I'm sure she appreciates it.” Bill bit back a laugh.

Holden turned to him, face serious. “She will when she receives prompt attention when she wakes up in the middle of the night.” He turned back towards Emily. “That's what you're planning to do, aren't you, Peanut.”

He handed the little girl to Bill and sank down on to the edge of the bed to take his shoes off. Bill smiled down at the baby who looked more sleepy than anything else. Holden scooted back towards the headboard, and Bill knew he was going to be holed up there for awhile. That was OK, he needed to nest, and Bill was just happy to see him calm again. He sat down next to Holden.

“This is where it really begins,” he said, giving his mate a kiss.

For Holden's part, he had never been so relieved to be home. The hospital stay had seemed like one long drawn out nightmare, and even now it's memory made him tighten up in panic. But being back in the bedroom where he was safe, where no one would take Emily away, where it smelled like Bill he found himself rapidly shaking off the worst of the last few days.

He ventured out long enough to eat dinner, but then returned to the bedroom with a book. Emily was already peacefully snoozing. That night he had the pleasure of sleeping curled up in Bill's arms, his family around him. It felt like heaven. His sleep was interrupted around midnight by a hungry baby, but that was OK. He could deal with some sleep deprivation as long as Emily was with him.

* * *

Bill walked into the bedroom and was immediately hit with blissed out omega pheromones. He toed off his shoes and joined Holden who was sitting on the bed in pair of sweatpants sans shirt cradling Emily to his chest. He slid an arm around Holden, who scooted over a little to lean against his mate.

“How's it going?” Bill reached out to gently stroke his daughters soft, dark, fuzzy hair. He had gone into work for part of the day to help Gregg get going on a case Bill had been working on solo, before taking a few more days off to be home with Holden and Emily.

“Good. I feel like I can finally relax and breath again. Emily's had a busy day of eating and sleeping – and spitting up on me. Can't forget that.” He smiled down at his baby daughter in amusement. “You just have such a tiny stomach, don't you?”

Bill felt some of his own stress melt away, and not just from Holden's scent cues. Bill had been genuinely concerned about Holden's stress levels while in the hospital, and seeing him so relaxed took one worry off his shoulders. “Did you get any sleep?”

“I took a short nap while she was sleeping earlier.” They had done as the doctor had suggested and moved a bassinet into their bedroom so as not to conflict with Holden's nesting instincts. Holden no longer actively denied that he nested, but he also wouldn't come out and admit it either.

He turned his head to give Bill a kiss. “Can you take her, so I can jump in the shower?”

“Of course, come here, Peanut.” He gladly accepted the little girl, who fussed for a few minutes, before calming down. “Don't worry, he'll be back.” Bill marveled again at how small she was in his arms, how tiny her perfect little hands and fingers were, and how on earth she had come out of his mate. He could hear the water switch on in the bathroom, and Bill settled comfortably back against the pillows Holden had arranged to lean against. He also had brought in a pile of books, water bottle and the cracker canister. “He's made himself comfortable in here, hasn't he?” He said to Emily who was looking sleepy. 

He eased himself up off the bed and went to lay her down in the bassinet, cozy in a green onesie with a pink bunny on the front. She kicked her little legs, uncertain about her change in location before quieting down, content to nap. Holden reappeared with a towel wrapped around his hips.

“Asleep?” He whispered.

“Yeah. I wish I could sleep that easily,” Bill said softly, covering the hand that Holden laid on his shoulder before going to pull on a clean pair of pajama pants and a sweatshirt. 

“How's Russell doing?” Holden asked as they ate dinner. He was content for the time being to be away from the bedroom and Emily, but Bill knew it wouldn't last long.

“Not bad. He has a good work ethic, so he's been making himself useful. He occasionally gets a little squeamish about some of the interviews, but they do get rough, so I can't blame him. Jim starts in a month. He and his wife are looking for a place to live.”

“That's good. It's a given Jim will do fine. Stevie will be up the day after tomorrow. I warned him he'd get stuck spending a couple of nights on the sofa with Brian here over the weekend.” 

Bill had never been more thankful for Holden's uncles. His mother's behavior had robbed Holden of a person to go to with questions, for support. Stevie had been through it all three times, and Bill felt it would boost both his own and Holden's confidence to have an old hand around for a little while.

He could see Holden begin to get antsy. “Go back to your nest, I'll get the dishes.”

“Bill,” Holden started to object, but Bill just gave him a steady look. Holden closed his mouth and retreated back to the bedroom.

* * *

Holden continued to be amazed by Emily. It seemed surreal that he was holding the tiny being he had been carrying inside him for nearly nine months. He loved her in a way he had never loved anyone before, it was beyond his ability to even put into words. He was also exhausted. To complicate matters, now that he survived the childbirth experience, was away from the hospital, and back in his safe, familiar environment, he began to doubt his own mental state. He looked back at the hospital stay with a mix of uneasiness and embarrassment at the behavior that he felt was over the top at a minimum, and his need to not leave the bedroom worried him. He already had one disorder, and knowing that, he had difficulty trusting his own responses.

He tried to shove his concerns to the side and focus on his new baby, who did take up a lot of his time and attention. Bill didn't seem thrown at all that Holden spent most of his time in the bedroom, and he wasn't certain if Bill chalked it up to nesting, or didn't want to upset him. The rest of the week passed quickly, and Stevie arrived that Friday afternoon much to Holden's relief.

He heard the doorbell ring, and Bill answer. He tensed to rise, but then settled back again. His sense of unease grew as Stevie and Bill's voices drifted in. He should _want_ to greet Stevie, but the desire to stay put outweighed what he knew was polite behavior.

“What is wrong with me?” He asked Emily, who was resting comfortably against his chest. “You don't care do you?” He kissed the top of her fuzzy head. She wriggled against him for a moment, one tiny hand grasping at his shirt.

He heard footsteps coming down the hall – Bill's heavier tread and Stevie's lighter steps. Holden sat up and self consciously ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame it. “Company's here,” Bill said, leaning against the door frame.

“Hi Holden, oh, there's the little princess! Can I hold her?” Stevie settled on the edge of the bed, perfectly at home and not at all thrown off by Holden's lack of welcome.

“Of course. She's already spit up her last meal, so you should be safe.” Holden handed him Emily who didn't seem to mind as long as someone was holding her.

Stevie laughed. “I remember that from my own, and of course my grandbabies. She's beautiful. You two did a good job.” He looked up in Holden's direction. “How are you feeling?”

“Not too bad.”

“I'm going to go get dinner started,” Bill excused himself.

Once Bill was gone, Holden felt himself driven to tell Stevie what had been eating him over the past few days. “I feel OK physically for just having had a baby, but...

It's not taking care of Emily that's the issue, it's me. I don't know if I'm behaving...normally.” He forced out the concern that he had been keeping even from Bill. “The hospital was a nightmare. Every time they took Emily to the nursery, it felt like I might never get her back, even though rationally I knew that wasn't true. Now that I'm home, I don't want to leave the bedroom – this is my home, I know it's safe, but what I feel and what I know are two different things anymore. I was told this was normal for omegas, but it doesn't feel normal.”

Stevie listened quietly, his expression sympathetic. “Holden, you're entirely normal. I had my first two in the hospital, and the experience was so bad that I had Davie at home with a midwife. I just couldn't go through it again. They're not wrong to want you to go to the hospital for your first kid just in case something were to happen, but they're notoriously bad for omegas in every other way. They just don't make an effort to accommodate us when we're the minority of patients they see.

As for the bedroom – you're nesting. It's what you're supposed to do, and it will pass. You'll find yourself feeling less and less tied to this spot over time. It's not a bad thing. You're giving your body a chance to recover and giving yourself quiet time to bond with your baby. I was pretty much over it after a few weeks.”

“So there's nothing wrong with me?” His voice came out in hardly more than a whisper.

“Nothing,” Stevie smiled. “You aren't a beta, so what you experience is different from a woman. If you didn't feel these things, it would be concerning.”

Holden slowly let out a breath, feeling some measure of relief. “When I first got home from the hospital, I was so relieved to have Emily out of there, that I didn't worry about it so much. But after a few days and looking back at the hospital stay, I felt like I was losing my mind.”

“Your instincts are just revved up right now. My parents were alpha and omega, and I remember Papa having my little brother, so I grew up knowing nesting behavior was normal. I can see how it could be unsettling if you have no experience with it. It's why hospitals are miserable places. You can't nest with your baby.”

“I'm afraid I'm not going to be very entertaining.”

“I'm not here to be entertained. I'm here to help, because I know new babies are exhausting. Besides, you're clearly in need of moral support.” His face grew serious. “I'm sorry I didn't give you more of a warning about this stuff. I took for granted that you knew more than you did, since it's the kind of things I grew up knowing.”

“That's OK, and my doctor tried to warn me about the hospital, but I couldn't fully comprehend what she was talking about. I had to experience it to understand, and even then I've had a hard time believing it was normal.” 

“You have nothing to worry about. You have a beautiful healthy baby, you came through it OK, though you're probably tired.”

“You can set a clock by her. Twelve at night and four in the morning,” Holden replied. “Then she's up at seven for awhile. Bill does as much as I do, but he can't feed her.”

“That sounds about right. Rob woke up twice a night, but Davie was up at least three times, and it took longer for him to go back to sleep. He was a little night owl. Davie's baby girl was the same way, and I told him it served him right.” Stevie laughed.

Stevie's relaxed, good natured attitude helped Holden's worry melt away. He wasn't close to other omegas, and being an omega moving through a world of mostly alphas and betas often left him feeling less than normal. Stevie being around also made nesting easier since Bill wasn't forced to take care of so much on his own.

Nancy dropped Brian off on Friday night. At first he exhibited the usual caution he had around unknown adults, but he quickly warmed up to him culminating in Stevie teaching him several card games.

“I don't know what happened to Brian before we adopted him, but it wasn't at the hands of an omega. He's always been comfortable with you, and look how he's taken to Stevie,” Bill whispered to Holden.

“The same theory occurred to me as well,” Holden admitted as he changed Emily into a clean onesie, her previous apparel fallen victim to the remains of her last meal that wouldn't stay down. “Omegas behave so differently, that we're easy to identify. From what it sounds like out there, pretty soon we're going to have a card shark on our hands.”

“There was a time when I wasn't sure he'd ever be comfortable around anyone who wasn't Nancy. Things have really changed.”

“We've all become a family.” It was an obvious statement to make, yet it caught him by surprise hearing himself say it out loud. Over the past few years they had firmly cemented into a family unit, and it had happened so naturally that Holden hadn't consciously thought about it before.

* * *

Emily's sharp cry ripped Bill out of his sleep, and he felt the mattress shift as Holden hauled himself up to see to their daughter. He heard the soft murmur of his mate's voice before he quietly slipped out. Bill appreciated that Holden didn't want to keep him awake, but Bill also knew that Holden would've been more comfortable staying in the bedroom. He lay still for a moment and glanced at the clock. Five minutes after four.

“Right on schedule.” He sat up and rubbed the grit from his eyes before getting out of bed and shrugging on a robe against the early morning chill. He could stay in the warmth of his bed, but knowing he had to leave for work that morning propelled him to follow Holden into the living room.

“You don't have to sit up with me,” Holden said quietly, accepting Bill's kiss on the cheek.

“I have to be up soon anyway.” He sat for a few minutes appreciating the peaceful presence of his mate and baby. He drank it in, knowing that he had to leave them and go back to work. As an alpha, he had his own instincts, and they told him firmly that he should stay and look after them. However, that wasn't an option, so he settled for a little time in the morning. “You didn't have to leave the bedroom, if you're more comfortable there.”

“I know, but I didn't want to keep you up when you have to work.”

“It's fine. You can stay in your nest.” He chuckled at the predictable look on Holden's face. “This is kind of nice.”

“Yeah, it is,” Holden agreed. “I wouldn't mind this at all, if it wasn't for also going through it at midnight. He smiled down at Emily as if to say that it was really all OK. Emily was more interested in filling her belly than the sleep schedule of her parents.

Bill scooted closer and slid an arm around Holden's shoulders and his mate leaned against him with a yawn. “Feeling confident about this?” Bill asked, some of his own worry leaking through.

“Sure, and Stevie's here. I'm not alone.” Holden paused for a long moment. “I feel much better after Stevie assured me that I wasn't losing my mind.”

“Oh? What did you think wasn't normal?”

“Having a melt down at the hospital, not wanting to leave the bedroom...”

“You were told that was normal,” Bill reminded him. “You're an omega, whether you want to admit it or not, you nest.”

“It didn't _feel_ normal.” He insisted. “It felt like I was going crazy. I didn't know what I was supposed to be feeling verses my anxiety disorder.”

“OK, that makes sense,” Bill admitted. “But you are normal, at least your behavior lately has been,” he teased. 

Holden gave him a reproachful poke before settling back against Bill. “I realize that now.”

They sat peacefully together for a few more minutes. “I think I will go back to the bedroom now,” Holden said, looking somewhat chagrined. That earned a chuckle from Bill.

“Go ahead, I'm going to put some coffee on.” He wandered into the kitchen, trying not to wake up Stevie who had taken over Brian's room now that he was back with Nancy. He knew he would pay for the early morning and overall disrupted sleep later, but for the moment he felt OK. The house had fallen quiet again, and Bill hoped Holden had managed to fall asleep. 

Bill had gotten dressed and was on his second cup of coffee when Stevie wandered in, his graying hair looking something like a hedgehog. “Coffee?” Bill asked.

“That would be great.” He accepted the mug from Bill. They stood for awhile in companionable silence.

“I know I've said it before, but thanks for being here. It makes leaving for work easier. Holden isn't the only one with instincts, and mine are telling me to stay home.”

“Understandable. Will was the same way. Holden's doing a good job, he and Emily will be fine. I promise we won't burn the house down.” He grinned.

“I'm holding you to that.” He glanced at the wall clock and quickly rinsed out his mug. “I'm going to head in early and get a jump start on things. I don't want to be stuck there half the evening. You have the run of the house, anything you need is yours.”

* * *

“How's it going?” Russell asked around ten thirty in the morning. Bill was deep in catch up mode and forcing himself not to call Holden until lunch.

“Alright. I was gone for a week, but sitting here now, it feels more like a month.”

“I hated leaving my mate and baby to go to work. It got better after the first week when it really set in that nothing bad was going to happen if I left them alone.”

Bill made a noise of agreement. “His uncle's with them right now. He's here until Thursday morning.” He finally looked up from the case file he was reading through. “Did they say who would be consulting on this case?”

“Jim and Gregg, maybe you, but nobody really wants to send you out of town this soon. Jim said he was comfortable with it, and Gregg could use the experience.”

“Ah, thanks for trying to spare me. Give me a little while, and it won't be a problem, but right now we're just now getting into a routine at home.”

“And you don't want to leave Holden and the baby alone. I get it.” 

“Not while he's nesting.” Bill thought this a reasonable concern, since Holden wasn't going to be comfortable going out and about with Emily yet. “Just don't tell him I said that. According to Holden he doesn't nest.”

Russell cocked his head quizzically. “I've never known an omega not to nest.”

“I know that, you know that, Holden pretends not to.” Bill glanced at the clock again and resisted the urge to call home. When he finally did allow himself the relief of hearing his mate's voice, everything at home was predictably fine. Two adults could handle one small baby, but being away rankled as it did for the next three days. After that routine began to reassert itself, though he made a habit of giving Holden a call when he knew Emily wasn't going to be sleeping.

Stevie left Thursday morning, but at that point the new household routine felt normal. It was a sleep deprived routine, but a routine all the same. Bill's concern about being gone faded. and Holden was free to experience new parenthood without worrying there was anything abnormal in his behavior. Emily was happy to experience her new world regardless as long as she was clean, had milk, and plenty of opportunities to nap.


End file.
